{"id":15216,"date":"2015-07-20T19:00:25","date_gmt":"2015-07-20T23:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/?p=15216"},"modified":"2015-07-20T19:00:25","modified_gmt":"2015-07-20T23:00:25","slug":"zero-day-spiritual-attack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/2015\/07\/zero-day-spiritual-attack\/","title":{"rendered":"Zero Day Spiritual Attack"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently saw this picture on Facebook.<\/p>\n

\"1513199_10152847610581082_2499001853248154363_n\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Well if you don\u2019t have an automatic, possibly they could do an \u201cAnointing of the Stick\u201d or some form of \u201cLast Rides\u201d for ailing engines.<\/p>\n

Soon after this headline caught my attention San Francisco techies are hiring this Wiccan witch to protect their computers from viruses and offices from evil spirits<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Talley is one of those mystics, a Marin County witch boasting three master\u2019s degrees and over 40 years of experience. Though tech problems are not the only ones Talley tackles, she is routinely called upon to debug people\u2019s tech woes with spiritual energy.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost people want me to protect their computers from viruses and hacks,\u201d she told SF Weekly. \u201cSo I\u2019ll make charms for them. I like to use flora.\u201d And when there are problems in office hardware, Talley turns to \u201cJet,\u201d a black stone that serves to block energy. In extreme cases, she casts protection spells of her own over the entire company.<\/p>\n

Talley recounts one particular tale to SF Weekly, when a startup\u2019s office alarm would blare at all hours of the day, and no one knew why. After multiple electricians (the \u201crational\u201d choice) completely failed to solve the problem, the company called in Talley.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got the spirit out,\u201d she told SF Weekly.<\/p>\n

Talley\u2019s website says she welcomes issues too unusual or dangerous to take the the straight world of Western helpers. But she also says no problem is too big or small, even, perhaps, your printer malfunctioning. However before you jump on the phone, you should be aware that Talley\u2019s services do not come cheap. She charges $200 an hour (though a phone consultation is free).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Well judging by her outfit shown in the article she is a \u201cBlack Hat\u201d hacker.<\/p>\n

Jokes aside, this is great if you want to open up your company to a zero day spiritual attack.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll stick with sacramentals, although dousing equipment with holy water is probably not a good idea.<\/p>\n

The Archdiocese of Milwaukee has a Prayer for Computer Users<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Bless again this day the mysterious computer<\/p>\n

which awaits your power and my human effort.<\/p>\n

Grant wisdom, knowledge and a clear memory to my mind<\/p>\n

as I sit before this new creature of your infinite power.<\/p>\n

Bless my heart with endless patience whenever needed.<\/p>\n

Guide my hands that I may be your faithful servant in every key I press.<\/p>\n

Enable my limited efforts to bring glory to your Name<\/p>\n

and blessings to your people everywhere.<\/p>\n

Delete me not from your Kingdom<\/p>\n

and save me from all fear and from all error of sin and ignorance.<\/p>\n

I whisper this prayer, mindful of the needs of all with whom and for whom I work,<\/p>\n

through the power of your Word and the life-giving energy of your Spirit.<\/p>\n

Amen<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Although I have to admit that the wording of this prayer tickles my funny bone inadvertently. Seriously \u201cDelete me not from your Kingdom\u201d?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently saw this picture on Facebook. Well if you don\u2019t have an automatic, possibly they could do an \u201cAnointing of the Stick\u201d or some form of \u201cLast Rides\u201d for…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15216"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15217,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15216\/revisions\/15217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}