{"id":10433,"date":"2010-05-05T20:40:17","date_gmt":"2010-05-06T00:40:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/?p=10433"},"modified":"2010-05-05T20:40:17","modified_gmt":"2010-05-06T00:40:17","slug":"you-are-the-dog-treat-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/2010\/05\/you-are-the-dog-treat-of-life\/","title":{"rendered":"You are the Dog Treat of Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p>Danvers, Mass. (AP) &#8211; A Massachusetts church is scheduled to launch a new monthly worship service &#8211; for dogs. Calvary Episcopal Church will offer later this month its first &#8220;Perfect Paws Pet Ministry&#8221; aimed at giving area pooches and their owners improved odds at getting canines into heaven. The Danvers church plans to hold the service on the third Sunday of every month, complete with communion for the humans and special blessings for pets. Dogs will get special treats.<\/p>\n<p>Church officials said well-mannered, leashed dogs are invited. People can submit a paper prayer if their pets are sick, not good around other dogs or deceased. Prayers can also be offered for other types of pets.<\/p>\n<p>Rev. Thea Keith-Lucas told The Salem News dogs will have a say during service because barking won&#8217;t be banned.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><insert dogma joke here><\/p>\n<p>Pet blessing are perfectly acceptable, but certainly not as part of the service.<\/p>\n<p>So do they have Sunday School for Fido?<\/p>\n<p>Fido what did Noah build? bArk!<\/p>\n<p>Where was St. Joan born: bArc!<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>While the service will be a Christian one, it is open to pet owners who attend other churches or belong to other faiths.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I draw the line at doggie ecumenism.  This only leads to pet syncretism.  It was bad enough the heresy that all dogs go to Heaven &#8211; surely started by a Cat to lead dogs astray by letting them think they were already one of the elect. Doggie predestination is a serious subject, though I don&#8217;t want to get in the mire of Calvinist double doggie predestination.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Danvers, Mass. (AP) &#8211; A Massachusetts church is scheduled to launch a new monthly worship service &#8211; for dogs. Calvary Episcopal Church will offer later this month its first &#8220;Perfect&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10433","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10433"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10433\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10434,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10433\/revisions\/10434"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10433"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10433"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10433"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}