{"id":8557,"date":"2003-02-12T19:13:54","date_gmt":"2003-02-13T00:13:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost:8888\/2003\/02\/12\/new-betty-ford-center-opening\/"},"modified":"2003-02-12T19:13:54","modified_gmt":"2003-02-13T00:13:54","slug":"new-betty-ford-center-opening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/2003\/02\/new-betty-ford-center-opening\/","title":{"rendered":"New Betty Ford Center opening"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Betty Ford Center has opened up a new clinic for blogger addiction. This<br \/>\nrelatively new and insidious addiction is growing on the internet and is affecting<br \/>\nunknown thousands of people. This condition has now been classified by blogsycholigists<br \/>\nas Blogger Addiction Disorder (BAD). Dr. Rantus the new head for the Center<br \/>\nfor Blogger Addiction Disorder has a list of the signs for friends and family<br \/>\nmembers to look out for.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Lack of sleep caused by combing through a large number of news sites and<br \/>\nweblogs looking for stories to comment on. The addicted blogger will usually<br \/>\nnot go to bed until they have found at least one unique story that has not<br \/>\nbeen commented about in their blogging community.<\/li>\n<li>Instead of healthy communications with their spouses they might ask their<br \/>\nspouse to leave a comment or to email them.<\/li>\n<li>The blogger might suddenly close down their weblog but within a matter of<br \/>\ndays or hours announce that they will start blogging again even if on a more limited basis.<\/li>\n<li>They walk around looking glum and are easily angered on days when their<br \/>\ncommenting systems are down. It is advised to not come in contact with a blogger<br \/>\nin this state until their commenting system is back up.<\/li>\n<li>Archivephobia or Sudden Archive Loss paranoia is a condition exhibited by<br \/>\nbloggers using blogger and blogspot. They constantly check their archives<br \/>\non an hourly basis to see if they are still there. Some blogsychologists disagree<br \/>\nthat this condition is paranoia since their archives might actually disappear<br \/>\nat any time.<\/li>\n<li>Obsessive-compulsive Referral Checking (ORC) is a condition where the blogger<br \/>\nis constantly checking their blog statistics to see what web sites are referring<br \/>\nusers to them. Another category in this condition is Obsessive-compulsive<br \/>\nComment Checking (OCC).<\/li>\n<li>Blogroll Size Disorder can be detected by a blogroll with hundreds of entries<br \/>\nto other weblogs. The affected blogger is usually hoping that by listing hundreds<br \/>\nof weblogs that one of them will in turn provide a reciprocal link back to<br \/>\nthem.<\/li>\n<li>Instapundit Attention Deficit disorder (IAD) is the name of the condition<br \/>\nwhere a user will try everything they can to attract the attention of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.instapundit.com\/\">Glenn<br \/>\nReynolds<\/a>. Other disorders within this category are <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nationalreview.com\/thecorner\/corner.asp\">The<br \/>\nCorner<\/a> Attention Deficit disorder (CAD) and Shea Attention Deficit disorder<br \/>\n(SAD).<\/li>\n<li>Another item to look for is frequent commenting on weblogs. Frequent commenting<br \/>\nis a gateway disorder which normally leads to that person starting their own<br \/>\nweblog. If we can get help to that person in the frequent commenting stage<br \/>\nwe might be able to prevent BAD or at least reduce the symptoms.<\/li>\n<li>Fiskitis is the condition where the subject will write comments after every<br \/>\ncouple lines of a document or an article. A clinical case of severe Fiskitis<br \/>\nwas observed in a husband who returned a birthday card to his wife with comments<br \/>\non every other line of the preprinted birthday message.<\/li>\n<li>Full Anal Retentive Troll Syndrome (FARTS) is a physiological disease exhibited<br \/>\nby both commenters and bloggers. Commenting FARTS usually will leave foul<br \/>\nand illogical posts in a comment box and will repeatedly return to argue.<br \/>\nIP banning and ignoring are currently the only two treatments for those suffering<br \/>\nwith this psychological disease. FARTS with a blog usually have no original<br \/>\ncontents or ideas but will concentrate only on attacking others with a blog.<br \/>\nFor the classic example of this type of blogger see the <a href=\"http:\/\/nihilobstat.blogspot.com\/\">Nihil<br \/>\nObstat<\/a> weblog. FARTS should not be attacked, but should be pitied since<br \/>\nthey usually have the self-esteem of a fourteen year old with acne.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you notice anyone exhibiting these signs contact the Center for Blogger<br \/>\nAddiction Disorder at 1-800-GETALIFE. They offer affordable room rates and recovery<br \/>\nenhancement programs fully covered by most insurance carriers.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>This post came about as the result of Domenico Bettinelli&#8217;s post on <a href=\"http:\/\/bettnet.dyndns.org\/blog\/comments.php?id=P576_0_1_0\">Crack<br \/>\nblogging<\/a> and Kairo&#8217;s post which said <font color=\"#3333FF\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.godstime.blogspot.com\/2003_02_09_godstime_archive.html#88908553\">(Blogging<br \/>\nis like very slow, very aggravating crack blogging. Trust me on this one.)<\/a><\/font>\n<\/p>\n<p><b>Blogging<\/b> (Sung to Cocaine by JJ Cale, made famous by Eric Clapton)<\/p>\n<p>If you wanna rant out, and you&#8217;ve got no clout; blogging.<br \/>\nIf you wanna knock down, down on the ground; blogging.<br \/>\nTruth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.<\/p>\n<p>If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; blogging.<br \/>\nWhen your day is done and you wanna shun; blogging.<br \/>\nTruth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.<\/p>\n<p> If you have no life and you wanna cause strife; blogging.<br \/>\nDon&#8217;t forget this fact, you can go on the attack; blogging.<br \/>\nTruth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.<\/p>\n<p> Truth or lie, truth or lie, truth or lie; blogging.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Betty Ford Center has opened up a new clinic for blogger addiction. This relatively new and insidious addiction is growing on the internet and is affecting unknown thousands of&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parody"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8557"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8557\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}