{"id":7666,"date":"2003-09-08T12:11:02","date_gmt":"2003-09-08T17:11:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost:8888\/2003\/09\/08\/now-for-a-commercial-timeout\/"},"modified":"2003-09-08T12:11:02","modified_gmt":"2003-09-08T17:11:02","slug":"now-for-a-commercial-timeout","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/2003\/09\/now-for-a-commercial-timeout\/","title":{"rendered":"Now for a commercial timeout"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n
<\/td>\n\n

Hi I am Dr. Gill Egan and I would
\nlike to introduce a radical new surgery for radical traditionalists called
\nLRS. After years of eye surgery research I have perfected Lid Replacement
\nSurgery .<\/p>\n

As an Eye Surgeon and Ophthalmologist during my years of practice I
\nhave had many people coming to my practice complaining of the symptoms
\nof Lidless Eye Syndrome (LES), but up to now there was no real treatment.<\/p>\n

Inspiration came to me one day as I was working with one my my LES patents
\nand he started ranting at me about the Council of Trent in a loud voice.
\nI told him to put a lid on it and then I realized the aptness of my words.<\/p>\n

The procedures uses skin grafting to take skin from the patients posterior,
\nwhich somehow seemed appropriate, and to fashion a new lid and then surgically
\nattach it to the eye.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\n
\n


\nBefore<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n

\n

\nAfter<\/strong> <\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n

As you can see by these amazing
\npictures that the results are real and immediately beneficial. Here are
\nsome testimonial from those who have experienced this amazing new surgery.<\/p>\n

"I was using six packs of visine daily to try to keep my eyes lubricated
\nwhile selectively pouring over church documents. But no matter what I
\ndid I could not read through the whole of a Vatican II document. Now
\nthough my eyesight is much better and not only have I found parts of
\nthe declarations
\nof the Council of Trent that I had not noticed before, but just yesterday
\nI was able to read all of Dignitatis Humanae without going into a rage!
\n–Anonymous patient<\/p>\n

"I had been suffering from Lidless Eye Syndrome for years without realizing
\nit. I did not realize the optical illusion my lid challenged eyes had
\nbeen tricking me with. Everything was inverted, I saw small t traditions
\nas
\nlarge T traditions and I saw large T traditions as little t traditions.
\nBut now
\nmy eyes are fit to a T. –Anonymous patient<\/p>\n

So don’t delay, enquire now on your prospects as a patient. Just sit
\nright back at Dr. Gill Egan’s Eye Land. www.gilleganseyeland.com.<\/u><\/font><\/p>\n

As part of the Doctors Without Borders group I am currently off to Mordor
\nfor an extreme case of Lidless Eye Syndrome.
\n\n<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi I am Dr. Gill Egan and I would like to introduce a radical new surgery for radical traditionalists called LRS. After years of eye surgery research I have perfected…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7666","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7666","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7666"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7666\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7666"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7666"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7666"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}