{"id":7289,"date":"2004-04-19T19:00:53","date_gmt":"2004-04-20T00:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost:8888\/2004\/04\/19\/pope-in-a-bagcopy\/"},"modified":"2004-04-19T19:00:53","modified_gmt":"2004-04-20T00:00:53","slug":"pope-in-a-bagcopy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/2004\/04\/pope-in-a-bagcopy\/","title":{"rendered":"Pope-In-A-Bag&copy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you found yourself leafing through the Catechism of the Catholic Church
\nand finding that you just don’t accept all of it? Have documents from the Vatican
\nangered you in their pig-headed determination not to believe what you believe?
\nDo you just know that you are right and that two thousands years of teaching
\nand tradition are just plain wrong?
\nDid Dr. Ludwig Ott’s "Fundamentals
\nof Catholic Dogma<\/a>" just make you break out
\nin an allergic rash?
\nDoes appealing to the sensus fidelium to defend your beliefs just not seem
\nthat fulfilling anymore?
\nHave you wished the Church would just get with the program and drop all of
\nthat out-of-date doctrine that just doesn’t match modern day sensibilities? <\/p>\n

If you answered yes to one or all of these questions then congratulations
\nyour Holiness, do we have the product for you. Since you know that you are
\ninfallible on faith and morals why not get all the other benefits that go with
\nit? There may be a lack of vocations to the priesthood, but no shortage
\nthe Papacy. So get in line now.<\/p>\n

Introducing Pope-In-A-Bag<\/font>©, all you need
\nto fulfil your plan for yourself. With Pope-In-A-Bag<\/font>© you
\nget these great components.<\/p>\n

• Personal Papal Smoke Generator – Safely generates white smoke to announce
\nthe day you elected yourself to the Papacy. Crowd cheering sound effect is
\navailable in both CD and Cassette.<\/p>\n

• Papal Hallway Mirror – Just the thing to groom
\nyourself as you get ready to go out into the world. Adjust the mirror so
\nthat your face will reflect
\nin this highly polished surface. On the order form just include your papal
\nname to be displayed on the companion bronze plaque.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

• Personal Papal Holy Card. Your Pope-In-A-Bag<\/font>© contains
\nten of your very own holy cards. Our customers normally order packs of 100
\nto place at the back of their churches. Please send in a passport photo with
\nyour order to be integrated into your card.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

• Papal Fisherman\/woman’s ring. Included is a box
\nof Crackerjacks with your ring in it. Included also with your Pope-In-A-Bag<\/font>© is
\na template document to include in your will to ensure that your ring is destroyed
\nupon your death.<\/span>
\n<\/p>\n

• Papal Cathedra – Your own Pope’s Chair. Select from traditional or
\nPapal Stratolounger with drink holder. Your already use to making Ex Cathedra
\npronouncement, so why not do it in style.<\/p>\n

• Papal Robes – One size fits all.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

• Snap-On Papal Balcony – If your papal domicile doesn’t already have
\na suitable balcony for your Wednesday audiences or other occasions, don’t worry.
\nThe Snap-On Papal Balcony installs quickly and easily in minutes to your window.<\/p>\n

• Personal Papal Document System – Included is a
\n"Word of God Processor" that make writing your encyclicals a piece of cake.
\nBesides the
\nstandard spell checker it includes a Bible quote generator to justify your
\ntheology. To help you get started "Encyclicals for Dummies" is included free
\nof charge.<\/span><\/p>\n

• Includes a coupon for ten percent off Build Your Own Catholic Cathechism<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

So don’t delay, be your own pope today.<\/p>\n

* Magisterium not included.<\/span>
\n* Offer not valid in the Vatican City State<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you found yourself leafing through the Catechism of the Catholic Church and finding that you just don’t accept all of it? Have documents from the Vatican angered you in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7289"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7289\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}