{"id":5952,"date":"2005-07-11T19:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-07-12T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost:8888\/1969\/12\/31\/haugen-haas\/"},"modified":"2015-09-02T18:58:00","modified_gmt":"2015-09-02T22:58:00","slug":"haugen-haas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/2005\/07\/haugen-haas\/","title":{"rendered":"Haugen-Haas"},"content":{"rendered":"

You’ve have heard such songs a “Gather Us In” by\u00a0Marty Haugen and “Blest Are They”\u00a0by David Haas that are so sickly sweet that you were sure you gained a couple of pounds listening to them in your church.
\nSo sweet that you wish they were a flavor of ice cream. Well wish no more\u00a0because Marty Haugen and David Haas\u00a0have teamed together to do to your taste buds what they have done to your ear drums. All of are flavors include nuts in fact just like the appreciators of modern liturgical music it is chock full of nuts.<\/p>\n

Introducing Haugen-Haas Ice Cream!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/td>\nDissimint<\/strong><\/p>\n

Will dialogue with your taste buds and argue with you all the way down your throat. The cool taste of Dissimint will cause you to want to sign petitions and protest outside your local church. So rebel against against the flavors of dogmatic ice cream makers who think that flavors should taste like they traditionally did.<\/p>\n

Note<\/strong>: Your hair turning gray is not a side effect of Dissimint but an aid to help you fit in with other Dissimint eaters.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"\"<\/td>\nBanana Schism Split<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nothing says split like a schism so like thousands of others before you why not banana split off yourself. Why should your mouth answer to an old man in Rome? Martin Luther once remarked, \u201cEvery man is born with a Pope in his belly.\u201d so why not feed your inner pope with the finest schismatic ice cream? Whether you are a progressive or a sede vacantist you will love the sweet taste of schism.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"\"<\/td>\nEaster Sundae<\/strong><\/p>\n

For Easter Sundae Christians that only go to church once or twice a year. The perfect ice cream for the uncommitted ice cream eater that grew up in an ice cream eating household and doesn’t want to totally break with the tradition.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"\"<\/td>\nIconoclast Vanilla<\/strong><\/p>\n

Stark white ice cream just like the interior of many modern churches. No frills nothing special just plain vanilla ice cream. Nothing added – no miniature chunks of statue shaped chocolates – just one hundred percent pure watered down white ice cream.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"\"<\/td>\nHeretical Caramel Cone<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chunks of gnostic body hating chocolates and new age crystal sugar pieces combined to be doctrinally impure for those with a palette that rejects orthodoxy and craves doctrines to satisfy both their itching ears and tummy!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"\"<\/td>\nLiturgical Dancers Licorice<\/strong><\/p>\n

Imagine the flavor of liturgical dancers prancing around your tongue with whips of licorice pompoms. Just like your worship experience your ice cream experience should be all about you. So dive in with a flavor that is just tutu good.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

* Blogger credit to Bryan Jerabek of Quodlibeta<\/a> for suggesting that I do something with the idea of Haugen-Haas Ice Cream.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You’ve have heard such songs a “Gather Us In” by\u00a0Marty Haugen and “Blest Are They”\u00a0by David Haas that are so sickly sweet that you were sure you gained a couple…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5952","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parody"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5952","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5952"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5952\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15257,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5952\/revisions\/15257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5952"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5952"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.splendoroftruth.com\/curtjester\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5952"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}