Higher Calling
I have quite an announcement to make. I am now a reporter for Newsweek magazine! I always felt a call to be a reporter for Newsweek magazine so this is something very important for me. I can't tell you how thrilled I am at this news and the impact this has on my life and hopefully the lives of others.
The hierarchy of Newsweek magazine though doesn't recognize my call to be a reporter for them. So I had to have reporter credentials given me by an Ecumenical magazine group that also see themselves nevertheless as Newsweek employees and don't recognize the authority of Newsweek's editors to make hiring decisions.
So for my first article as a Newsweek employee I am going to interview myself, this way nobody can charge me with making up interviews as in the case of ABC's Alexis Debat.
NEWSWEEK: What made you decide to become a Newsweek reporter?
Jeff Miller: It was a long process that started at a very young age. I grew up reading bad religion reporting and was always attracted to Newsweek's egregious reporting and I was affirmed by others that I had gifts for bad reporting.
Have you heard from the Newsweek hierarchy?
The reporting community I belong to hasn't felt anything from the editors, but local stringers have informed others not to read my reporting since I wasn't a "validly credentialed" reporters for Newsweek.
How has your family handled your decision? Are they still Newsweek readers?
They are. They are actually incredibly supportive. My immediate family came for my giving a Newsweek credentials. My grandmother bought me an old typewriter.
How many people read your Newsweek articles?
We have 80 registered members. And we have a number of people who come who are subscribe to Newsweek but who come to read with us as a place to refresh their souls—a lot of them are ex-Newsweek readers who are uncomfortable with Newsweek's discriminatory hiring practices.
Do you know the other Ecumenically credentialed Newsweek reporters?
In the Ecumenical Newsweek Communion there are six other reporters. I know all of them. In the Ecumenical Reporters Communion we no longer claim that we’re underneath the authority of the editors. [There’s also a group called the Roman Newsweek Reporters, which also credentials some reporters.] During the last several years there have been organized giving of Newsweek reporter credentials primarily on river boats.
Have you received any hate mail?
I personally have not received hate mail, although there are plenty of blogs that I have found online that like to slander my name when they get hold of information about my credentials. It’s unfortunate and sad. The people I serve are excited to see a place where men and women can read my articles side by side. Just because I wasn't actually hired by Newsweek and I receive no salary from them or actually turn my stories over to them to be published doesn't prevent me from being a validly credentialed Newsweek reporters. Defenders of Newsweek's reporter tradition says that since founders of Newsweek (Ward Cheney, John Hay Whitney, and Paul Mellon) didn't allow people to call themselves Newsweek reporters without actually being hired by them that this can't be changed. There has been recent archaeological evidence in Newsweek headquarters of a statue of a reporter who does not seem to have ever been on their pay role. I think this is evidence of self-named Newsweek reporters in the early history of the magazine. If only people would get with the modern time and to understand how discriminatory Newsweek's present hiring practices are by not hiring everybody that would apply.
Is there anything else you wish people knew?
It’s important to me that people see that I did what the others do to prepare to be a reporter. I took that traditional path. I got a certificate from an online journalism school for a reasonable fee. I forced myself to cover local news of minor happenings to prepare myself. I just wish more reporters who find themselves alienated from the magazine could find a magazine home. I am taking this step forward so that others in the future will have the opportunity to be a Newsweek reporter without having to face their discriminatory hiring practice of only hiring those with a journalism degree and having the ability to write and to act as a reporter.
* Here is the Newsweek article I am parodying.
Have you heard from the Roman Catholic hierarchy?
The community I belong to hasn’t felt anything from the bishop, ...
Known as 
You nailed that one!
Peace,
--Peter
Say, you wouldn't happen to know anyone who could whip up some templates for stationery (letterhead, business cards and envelopes) would you?
Just musing.
I just signed on at Newsweek as a Senior Executive Editor. I'd rather edit and give orders than write.
This was the exact same reaction I had to the original story. If I decide I'm the King of Lower Bumpcourt does that mean I really am? Well, maybe if I could get just one other person to believe it, them maybe... (still laughing)
This goes beyond parody:
Q. Are you going to have kids some day? A. We’re really looking forward to this symbol. “This is my body given for you.” To be a pregnant priest will just add a whole other dimension to those words.
You know, your reporting is much more incluisive than the formal Newsweek, and so since they exclude so many reporters they haven't hired, they're clearly discriminitory and live in the dark ages. They need to be updated. People's feelings are hurt because they are not affirming the gifts other reporters are called to offer at the same printing press.
Well done!
Now that you've been credentialed, can you in turn, credential other postulants, like myself? Here's a small sample of my work:
http://shakingoffsleep.blogspot.com/2007/09/blogger-credentialed-as-newsweek.html
So brilliant. Truly. I already enjoy your blog, but this really went to the next level!!
Jeff,
I live in Webster Groves, Missouri, the home of both this woman's seminary and her "Catholic church" and you have to live around here to truly understand how funny this story is. Eden Seminary, which has a really pretty campus, the view of which was obscured when they put up an ugly library in the early 70's, I think, is about as close to a liberal Protestant Harvard as there is. Reinhold Niebuhr attended it, Walter Bruegemann used to teach there(and preach now and then at my old Episcopal parish, Emmanuel, right across Lockwood Avenue) and even though it's affiliated with the United Church of the Zeitgeist, it's educated quite a few ministers in the Episcopal Diocese of Missouri.
This town's got as good a claim as any in the country to the title of UCZ Central. Besides Eden, one of the UCZ's conferences, Missouri-Mid South I think, has its offices here and there are two UCZ churches, one of which provides space for this woman's "Catholic church," within about a block of each other on Lockwood. One, where this "Catholic church" is, used to be Evangelical and Reformed, the other was Congregational. There's a third UCZ church here and there used to be two more.
The cute little priestess served up a softball and you really whacked it out of the park. Good work. Maybe this should be submitted as a letter to the discriminatory editors who deny your credentials.
Congratulations on your new vocation, Jeff! =)
I just made myself the CEO of Microsoft. I can't wait to cash in on the stock options I am granting myself.
You have my permission to write about me, if you want.
I've felt a calling to be a celebrity, so, although my husband doesn't recognize it, in a secret ceremony I became Mrs. Christian Bale. (I'm not usre Christian Bale recognizes it, either, come to think of it...)
St. Narcissus, pray for us. ;-)
Is it a good sign or a bad one that these priestesses seem to be getting away from the "middle aged woman in a poncho" thing?
This lady, the one that thinks she's "Catholic" or whatever, she's just a protestant that forgot to convert. There's nothing special about her. I know many women who are pastors of protestant churches. I know many married women who are pastors of protestant churches. I'd assume that if they've got kiddies they were pregnant pastors at one time. There's absolutely nothing special about female protestant pastors.
Greetings,
She kept saying morality is only conscience. We don't turn anyone away. Everyone is welcome. I wonder if conscience is their value if a nazi, or racist, or anyone who disagreed with them showed up. I very much doubt they would accept immorality if it was what they consider immoral.
peace
I believe it was Chesterton who said (more or less), "It is by necessity that truth must be stranger than fiction, for we have made fiction to suit ourselves."
The reality of an objective truth certainly seems strange when compared to a "primacy of conscience" that recognizes no bounds, morality, and, least of all, Truth. Relativism is the dominant philosophy of this age, and it is pure fiction.
She kept saying morality is only conscience. We don't turn anyone away. Everyone is welcome.
Nazis and such aside, that repeated theme made me wonder, too. The Church doesn't reject people with homosexual inclinations, it only rejects sin. If people feel they're personally being rejected because of of a difference of opinion, then we've got some work to do, but a priest should know the difference between such personal feelings and the Church's actual position. Being inclusive for inclusivity's sake is no more a justification to become ordained than acquiring power for the sake of having power.
I tried to trackback but it doesn't work. I have a confession to make: I too am a credentialed Newsweek reporter. Your courage inspired me to come clean myself. May God bless you and may many others be inspired by your example to do the same.
I know exactly how you feel, Jeff. I've been a member of the New York Yankees since 1996, and they still haven't sent me my World Series rings!
Ooh, this is really inspiring. What could I become, I wonder?...Newsweek reporting doesn't really ring my chimes, nor do the NY Yankees...
I think I'll become a professor at the University of Michigan. Who's signing up for my classes?
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
In this whole bizarre article not one does the woman say she actually felt "called" to priesthood. Only that she sort of liked religious things and came to think she could do all the things men could do. She answers like a robot.
And I find Newsweek's breathlessly approving tone to be a little offensive. You can just hear the reporter ticking off the issues, "abortion, divorce, homosexuality, female ordination - yay, no more Catholic church!"
The whole thing is sad and kind of ridiculous.
Oops...
I read the whole piece thinking that you were making fun of the SSPX priests. Fortunately, the piece works perfectly that way, as well. A great way to highlight that just because you call yourself part of the Catholic Church doesn't mean that you are.
great parody!
As far as I know, the Roman Catholic Church recognizes the validity of ordination of the SSPX priests - just as it does the ordination of the Greek Russian and Ukranian Orthodox priests.
THIS IS HILARIOUS! I've just appointed myself a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, even though I can't fit in the costume.
Jeff, I am grateful you are a Catholic and part of the Catholic WWW. Keep up your ministry.
I needed a good laugh today. Thank You.
Sincerely,
The President of the United States
John 6:54