Pontifical Council for Transportation
Yesterday Cardinal Renato Martino's Pontifical Council for Migrants issued a “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road,” aka The Ten Commandments of Driving. Today the newly created Pontifical Council for Transportation jointly with Car-itas has issued a new document Driving the Gospels Home.
The following are some of the highlights of the new document.
- If you are carjacked one mile, go with him two.
- If yor are hit, turn the other signal.
- Do not let your air bag become puffed up like the Pharisees
- Let not the sun go down on you road rage
- Carry your cross daily, or at least have one hanging from your rear view mirror.
- When you enter a freeway that is backed up, go and move to the lowest place and not try to merge into the front. For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
- Do not talk about your Honda so that it can be said of you "That he did not say it of his own Accord."
- Hydroplaning is not the same thing as walking on water, avoid it.
- Before Jesus peformed the miracle at Cana, he appointed a designated driver.
- Do not say "Are we there yet", but rather "It is good to be here."
In other news Sammy Hagar has been excommunicated for not being able to drive 55.
We can look forward to new documents in the future from the Pontifical Council for Transportation. Another document called "Sacrificial suffering and airline food" is rumored to be in the works.
Update: Dawn Eden has some suggestions for the title of the document.
KaleJ at un-Muted Mumblings adds some of his own.
Carolina Cannonball at The Crescat also reacts to the driving ten commandments.
Obviously this priest who plowed into a restaurant didn't get the new documents.
Plus I remembered my old post on Mary's Fiat
Known as 
I just don't know what I'd do without Cardinal Martino and his department.
I foresee a possible document on "Weather conditions for seafaring fishermen." I also added a few to your list.
Remember to think of the most exalted car before driving, Mary's Fiat. And 4x4's must not be too high, follow the way of the low rider- Luke 1:52 "He hath put down the mighty from their seat; and hath exalted the lowly."
Even atheists would get a smile from these. Incidentally, I've seen the Flying Rosary with the caption, How To Tell You're Driving Too Fast.
I'm not going to jump on the bash the Cardinal bandwagon. I honestly think that this is a legitimate document trying to remind us that charity doesn't end when we buckle our seatbelts.
As someone who struggles with my emotions when I drive, I agree with this.
I just knew you would have an appropriate elucidation!
Its dissapointing that people are nearly universally jumping on this as some sort of joke. Certainly it is cute and amusing, but it is also a very legitimate document. I can say this as a person who has read the document, which is available at http://212.77.1.245/news_services/bulletin/news/20451.php?index=20451&lang=en if you are interested.
No doubt, some of the excerpts one might find in it are amusing, but they are still meaningful. And in fact, the teaching contained therein is not simply the creation of the pontifical council, but is filled with citations of previous teaching, from Pope John Paul II to Pius XII and even the Second Vatican Council.
One of the points that the document stresses several times is that people tend to, unfortunately, look at driving and road safety as unimportant or trivial, which I think is evidenced by the genereal reaction to the present document.
Sure, its funny in many ways, but its also important. Sometimes a thing can be both. If anything we ought to rejoice that there are social teachings which still can have a lighthearted side to them in this age of typically... darker problems.
omgosh i just choked on my lunch - LOL!!!
There is but one thing the righteous man despises more than a tailgater and that is a slow driver in front of him.
"The Undertaker always gets the Overtaker"
Not mine unfortunately! heard it in school years ago!
You forgot my favorite one
"And of the Hummer that cut you off, you must forgive him 4x4 times."
Obviously inspired after that unfortunate incident with the Popemobile and the flower beds, eh?
Image is too irreverent for me. Sorry.
Shane, you may be correct in this, auto accidents are not funny, but humor is one way to keep the Righteous Way to mind, and to stay on said Way. When the ways be choked with wrath, esp the Rage of Roads, a light heart maketh the journey passeth more quickly and with less incident.
Honk if you love Jesus!
I loved your words, Jeff, but PLEASE remove the image! It's very poor. I hate it!
I like the image. It's cute and witty. Somehow I don't think Our Blessed Mother is too upset about it. I can actually picture this email:
Came here from Father Z's blog... PRICELESS! Thanks for posting :D