Could it be ...

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 I recently came across an older children's record player at a garage sale that had a funky sixties feel to it along with what appeared at first sight to be some psychedelic sixties records.

Sixties kids record players

Vessels in Clay Lord of light

The record player was no longer functioning, but as an old electronics technician and someone who tinkered with record players as a kid, I soon had it working for the most part.  When I tried playing the records I immediately realized that I got something miswired since it was playing backwards.  Strangely though I though I was actually hearing coherent sentences.  Looking more closely at the two albums I was totally surprised that there were actually two offerings of the St. Louis Jesuits from the seventies and eighties.  I soon had a good laugh as I realized that their music sounded much better played backwards then forwards, but the smile went away as I again heard more messages.

This reminded me of the old controversies in rock music of embedded satanic messages of which I was always highly skeptical of.  After all most of the evil messages in rock music were actually called lyrics and anything else would be overkill. Backmasking is the audio technique in which sounds are recorded backwards onto a track that is meant to be played forwards. Backmasking is a deliberate process and is related to so-called subliminal messages in rock music.  I started to wonder if actually a technique like backmasking was really used in the original albums that became the main stay for so much contemporary music used in most Catholic Masses in the United States and elsewhere.

I replayed the records backwards and transcribed what I was hearing onto paper.  Now some of it was rather strange such as the repeated phrase "St. Paul is dead...", surely we all know Paul is dead so I didn't exactly understand the point of this subliminal message.  But other messages were quite shocking and really explains so much of what has happened with worship in the Mass with the introduction of this music to church musicians.  Here are just some examples of the disturbing messages  I heard.
  • The Tabernacle would  look so much better if placed in a small little side room.
  • Pantsuits are cool, habits are hot.
  • Pipe organs must be destroyed.
  • Peter, Paul, and Mary not St. Peter, St. Paul, and St. Mary.
  • Communion rails are a barrier to Jesus.
  • It's all about me, it's all about me, look at me (extracted from Here I am, Lord)
  • Gregorian Chant is an carcinogen.
  • The Spirit of Vatican II will set you free, never mind the text.
  • The highest expression of Church art is felt banners.
  • Catechesis, we don't need no stinkin' catechesis.
  • Conscience trumps Church teaching.
  • Catholic guilt is a psychological problem that is cured by discounting sin.
  • Marbles and sand belong in a Holy Water Font.
Now as in the case of rock music there were suppose to be Satanic messages embedded withing.  I didn't find anything like that in these recordings, but something much worse.
  • Satan doesn't exist.
  • There is no Devil.
  • There is not Hell.

Yes, anti-Satanic messages which of course are much more dangerous.

All of this explains so much.  The St. Louis Jesuits themselves never originally intended there music for liturgical use, so exactly how did it become such a major part of liturgical music? Was it the popularity of these records that first got played a and listened to by so many church musicians and by others involved in the Church that lead to so many rapid changes in the first place?  I think that this might be a much more sane and charitable explanation to explain why people dumped so rapidly centuries and centuries of liturgical music and other traditions conducive to worship in favor of the banal.

But who was behind this in the first place?  As much as I dislike the music of the St. Louis Jesuits during the liturgy, were they the ones behind this subversive plot?  Since as I have mentioned there music was not originally intended for liturgical use I did some digging to find out just who inserted these messages.  I finally found a photo from someone's Flicker page purporting to be from the various recording sessions from when they recorded their albums.

Devil on a soundboard

Could it be SATAN? Or one of his minions?  I report, you decide.

The other question is are these subliminal messages found in the recordings of other modern liturgical artists? With Lent upcoming I was thinking of testing the work of Marty Haugen and David Haas, but my spiritual director said this would be too penitential.

* A tip of the Jester hat to the blogger at Sterquilinium for sending me a suggestion for a parody along these lines.

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5 Comments

Funny! St Paul is dead was a nice touch.

This doesn't quite read like a spoof, actually. I had a record player like this one in the 80s.

Nice one, Mr Jeff. Though why exactly are Haugen and Haas' music 'too penitential'? ;)

totally coolmoe retro pix, sir. and i happen to know several catlicks who believe that "Catholic guilt is a psychological problem that is cured by discounting sin."
enjoy a blessed lenten season. ~the smock

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The Curt Jester

A former atheist who after spending forty years in the wilderness finds himself with both astonishment and joy a member of the Catholic Church. This blog presents my hopefully humorous and sometimes serious take on things religious, political, and whatever else crosses my mind.

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