Hairshirt training program

Wow, I cannot think of a better way of wishing someone a Happy Lent than to give them such a meaningful gift. Sign me up. ;)

Yes, yes a contemporary hair shirt for penitents who also fast everyday between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m. Cleary you were inspired by the "comfy pillows" approach to the Fr. Reese ousting which, as with your new line of penance shirts and fasting during sleeping hours, seem to produce suffient mortifications for some Catholics.

I thought you weren't to show you were doing penance. That while fasting and doing penance you were not to be glum, keep your face washed, and put on clean clothes. Not "t-shirts" that advertize the fact. Or do you wear this when you're "not" fasting or doing penance?

Ah, but Lucy, this Penance Shirt is in keeping of the "Spirit" of Vatican II, where one makes great showy displays on the altar, in choir -- everywhere, so that after Mass everyone may come up to you do do homage and tell you how holy you are.

Oh, oh, I see Teresa. My bad....(sometimes you crack me up sister friend!)

You crack me up too, Lucy (and I'm still praying for your parents).

Thank you so much Teresa :o}

Forgive my anonymous posting, I am a regular reader and infrequent commenter. But I want to protect my anonymity on this topic.

Is there something wrong with me? I feel like it sometimes. I don't think I possess the discipline to do real penance, but I want to. I'm working toward it. I want so badly to wear the same burlap undershirt all the rest of my life and deny myself salt pork and cheddar cheese and all the other foods I love, in hopes that it might do me and others some good.

Sometimes, at work, in tough situations, I catch myself flagelating my back methodically with one of the nylon leashes I always carry, even in conversations with others. When I realise what I am doing, I stop, embarrassed, but none of the moderns I work with have clue one what's going on. So sometimes I keep going.

Why does everyone in the Church seem to think this is nuts? I've never expressed this desire outright, not since my first month of catechism, but I know what I hear. And what I hear is that people like me are crazy, or throwbacks to some other time when such things were neccessary. Even from preists I hugely respect and adore for their apparent holiness.

And can I do it myself? Just take it upon myself to make a burlap tanktop and just never take it off? Do I have to wait for a spiritual director to say "yea"?

Why is penance given such short shrift? Why are we terrified of suffering? It comforts me, not like one of the kids today cutting themselves for no reason, but because I know that every suffering I take on willingly today is one day closer to truly being purged of self-love, so that I may bask in nothing but love for Him and His.

Maybe I am just nuts.

But I kind of doubt it.

Dear Not my real name,
I think the first thing I would do for myself is to get a spiritual director and work things out from there. I don't think you are nuts, although I take everyday pains, both mind and body and offer them up. Be they head aches, smashed fingers, cramps, bad knees, or what ever. There are so many everyday sufferings to offer up it's hard for me to think about a planned sufferage. But that's not to say you couldn't.

Dear Not In My Name,

You have an obvious respect for discipline and self control. Why, I'm sure you're not one of the myriad of Americans who succumb to road rage, march into schools insisting violently that your 'angel' has been wrongly disciplined (because he/she was talked to sternly) and rise above an additional five minute wait in a fast food line.

Gee, your equating self control with a mental illness like the dramatic increase in cutting among teenagers (whose roots, one can argue, is borne of selfish parenting) is astounding. I'm really hoping you're in the psychiatric field.

With your 'authentic' desire for self mastery through denying yourself selfish interests, you may even be able to recognize a parody when you see one.

Around 1990 an Episcopalian friend at work, who was born Jewish and raised as an atheist or agnostic, was complaining that Christmas isn't the only Christian holiday that's been commercialized. Easter has, too, with the emphasis on fashions. She said her favorite season is Lent because it's completely spiritual. (It is hard to commercialize a season based on penance and self-denial.) Completely ignoring her real reason for liking Lent and the context of the original song I wrote the following words to the tune of "Raindrops on Roses" from _The Sound of Music_:

Sackcloth and ashes, and days without eating,
Mortification and nights without sleeping,
A hair shirt that scratches, a nettle that stings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When it's Christmas,
When the tree's lit,
When the cards are sent,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I can't wait till Lent.

--

Thank you, Lucy. You are spot on and absolutely right about my need for spiritual direction. I really don't even know where to begin finding one though. I suppose I must go to my pastor to get help in finding one. It is his responsibility to tend to me, after all.

Teresa,

It saddens me to realize that I failed completely in my writing, if you misunderstood me that much. I absolutely recognised this as parody (usually anything with an illustration here is parody, and much that is without them as well.) As I said, I am a regular reader. In fact, you and I have had several good discussions over time.

I did not equate proper penance with the cutting trend. In fact, I specifically distinguished between the two, or tried to do so, since I apparently failed to make it clear to you. And no, I am not in the psychiatric profession (why would I carry a nylon leash with me at work at all times if I was a shrink? I'm not familiar with the feild, but do leashes have a place in modern psychiatry?)

And yeah, I've been guilty of a short temper far too many times, as have we all. I have only learned, with my conversion, a couple years back to offer these things up instead of letting them damage me and others. Am I perfectly able to do so? No; I think I acknowledged that pretty early on in the post you responded to.

I guess I do know where not to go with serious personal concerns about my own life in the faith. Thanks for your help.

After a moment's reflection, I realise Teresa's reaction is part and parcel of what I was complaining about. Maybe.

Correct me if I am wrong, but what I said seemed so out of whack to her that she assumed I was poking fun and being snide and disingenuous. Why do we assume such a thing, instead of thinking "Gee, poor guy. It must suck to be him"?

And fianlly, it is my own lack of self-control and discipline (others who know me might argue, but I know what really goes on in here) that began my respect for those very things. I desire them, becuase they are Christ's, and I lack them, and because they are His, I need them. I yearn for discipline. I hunger for self-control. The real, heroic, kinds. Not the counterfiet I currently "enjoy". I want it all, and as I understand it, Christ has promised that if I persevere, I shall have it.

Not my real name, Yes, go to your parish priest and if he can't be your spiritual director he will surely know of someone that can. Nmrn, there is help out there for you in your quest. The fact that you have e-mail may play into your direction. "Ask, and you shall receive" Hang in there....

Now I'm embarassed. (not parodying now).

Not My Real Name:

I'm so sorry. I did interprete your comments as a parody opposite point of view on my parody. I had seen other posters from the opposing point of view recently mocking mine and others and thought that was what where you were coming from. As sort of saying to me: this whole "penance thing" is stupid and you people who engage in the practice of it are foolish and self-serving. I am authentically and deeply sorry if I have hurt your feelings or others. I jumped to a wrongful conclusion.

You did provoke an interesting reflection in me though. Firstly, e-mail is sometimes a wiley forum, being stripped of face-to-face dialogue, a lot of what we're trying to say gets wrongly understood. Compound that with posting your thoughts too quickly (yikes! I see a lack of humility in me here!) it can fall out just as you and I demonstrated here. Secondly, and this is a harder admission on my part, do I reflect Christ charitably FIRST, or am I mostly concerned about being witty? I'm thinking *gulp* I often fall into the latter. And now I've hurt your feelings and I feel just terrible about that.

Where's Fr. Totten... can I have an on-line confession? Ha, ha.

Again... so sorry Not My Real Name.

Love, Teresa

Not My Real Name... can we make up now? It's not in my nature to be combative.

Here's a big hug for you from Teresa:

{{{Not My Real Name}}}

Absolutely! I require nor expect an apology, and yet you gave one. It speaks volumes about you. And rest assured, any wrong I might have felt you had done me was quickly forgiven. I was pretty sure you merely misunderstood. So no harm, no foul.

And please accept my apologies for my snide closing in my first response to you. It was a real wrong, unlike yours, because I was fairly certain you were mistaken. I had absolutely no right to take such a snarky tone in my ending, and beg your forgiveness. Yours was a mistake, mine was an intentional evil.

Oh, I'm so delighted you blogged back on!

And my only thought was how I bungled your post and then hurt your feelings. You see, I love coming to Curt Jester for refreshing "light" fare... but I had just come off site where a blogger had scoffed at the Catholic notion of suffering (and they said they were Catholic) and intimated that those surrounding the late JPII had done him a great disservice by prolonging his suffering. I had wanted to be sure I understood that they were really suggesting that they "mercy" kill him. They were indeed sincere, which profoundly broke my heart, and they further insisted that the idea that doing penance at all was outmoded and medieval nonsense. That surely the Catholic Church should "update" their thinking.

Having gone through that, and then I read your post, I jumped to the erroneous conclusion that you too, felt the sacrament of Reconciliation an archaic and fruitless sacrament.

Thank you for accepting my apology and I will try to be more careful.

Yeah!!! Can you feel the love???