Self Defense for Bureaucrats
In a increasingly violent workplace such as in Washington D.C. this book answers a timely need of what to do in critical situations. For years attention has been paid to postal workers and yet the dangerous life of a bureaucrat has been ignored. Thankfully due to current confirmation hearing this hidden problem is finally coming out in tothe light. Those that have had to silently suffer with threatening postures in the workplace finally have a voice and are being heard.
Here is information from just one chapter of this book that goes on to describe the philosophy behind Bureaucrat Do - the art of fighting in a bureaucracy.
Defending yourself against John R. Bolton
We realize that this is a bureaucrat's nightmare scenario, but we believe that if you can prepare yourself for someone like John Bolton you will be prepared for lesser emergencies.
*** Warning the following graphic displays a violent workplace posture ****
"Dreaded hands-on-hip style"
The good news is that even this bureaucratic infighting style can be defended against. This senate testimony scared many of us when Mr. Fingar told of his horrifying experience with the hands-on-hip style and the body language it implied.
If you encounter this posture:
- First control your breathing and do not panic - breath deeply.
- Always be aware of your surroundings by keeping track of emergency exits.
- Watch for accompanying escalating signs.
If hands-on-hip style starts is accompanied by a raised voice or worse a disagreement with your policy position.
- Head to the closes emergency exit and then call 911.
- Only if you are unable to safely escape will you try to attempt the hands-on-hip counter fighting style.
Extend you arm and pull one arm of the assailing bureaucrat's hip.
Then yank the other hand on a hip off and place a kick in the shins.
Follow the instructions in the above illustration to throw the offending bureaucrat on floor. When the bureaucrat is down and daze run for your life and call your local police. Do not stay on the scene for you could be treated with a posture such as the wagging finger and verbal dress down.
If you feel discomfort with the above defensive action there is another long used bureaucratic tactic that can be taken advantage of besides the typical back stab. Simply wait till the offending supervisor is up for a post where he needs to be confirmed first and testify and make charges against him.
This and many other chapters are available in this valuable book - so act now!
Known as 
lol Jeff
I don't know what is funnier, your spoof, that that is real testimony, or that you found it in the first place.
But how does one defend oneself against Bolton's moustache?
Dont let my kids get ahold of this. Then they may be able to defend again all that and **the look** too.
Yes, Josephine, I too have developed **the look** which I'm told may dampen my precious darlings ever important self esteem (self esteem is apparently more important than little boys about to pull the bottom package from a towering supermarket cookie display). I have a "Queen Elizabeth look" (I am not amused), for when the T.V. is tuned to a music video channel. This escalates to the Penetrating Laser Eye look, usually performed during Mass when one boy is poking another or banging a kneeler. You slowly turn your head to the offender. Keep lips tight, body moitionless and slowly widen your eyes and set laser to stun. They start praying you'll forget their bad behavior before the Sign of Peace. And finally, I have the Dragon Mother of Doom look, usually accompanied with a rhino charge to the offender and I'm told there is steam and a tinge of red in my eyes, although I confess I can usually only see static something akin to what the T.V. looks like between channels. This is reserved for serious offenses of course.