Security Clothing
If you handle information with classifications on a daily basis and don't want to be caught with your pants down or socked with a fine or some jail time - then Curt Jester Security Products have just what the security auditor ordered.
These high quality Khaki pants are made with heavy-duty construction using 3mm steel pant plate, 6mm steel plate zipper and twin locking zipper entry bolts. Simple to operate electronic keypad accepts a combination of between 3 and 8 numbers, giving millions of possible zipper combinations. Five LEDs give security, power and operating status, zipper status, and leak detection. Not only will your documents be secure, but you will never get those mocking stares when you forgot to zip up.
Our pant security is totally in conformance with DOD and Joint Command instructions used for Information Systems (IS) and assure compliance with DCID 6/3, NSA/CSS Manual 130-1 and DIAM 50-4. Ultra secure leg openings make sure that top secret documents never embarrassingly fall through. You can keep a pant-load of information without every worrying about losing documents again.
But what about those times when you have more documents than you can stuff into your pants?
The Crypto-Sock will meet all of your security stocking-stuffing needs. Equipped with industrial elastic that can not be pried loose or opened without first putting in the correct 5 digit code. Biometric smell receptors insure our socks can only be worn or opened by those with the correct foot odor index as set when they are first put on.
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"Wow! If only I had these before.
I swear these are the best security clothes available on the market." --Former National Security Advisor |
Known as 
I'd like to order...oh...say a dozen or so..............G.Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Had trouble taking things out of his pants.
Berger: Had trouble keeping things in his pants.
---- EXCLUSIVE WORLD FIRST, REPORTED HERE BY THE CURT JESTER NEWS SERVICE (CJNS) -----------
Correspondent Victor Morton on the scene in Washington.
Thanks, Jeff. Sources close to former National Security Adviser Samuel R. Berger told CJ News last night that the case of the purloined letters was really just a prank.
The sources said that the day Mr. Berger was at the National Archive was the same day as the Georgetown social calendar's most chic gathering, and that Mr. Berger had a really hot chick lined up for the night.
In the spirit of the legacy of the Clinton Administration, Mr. Berger needed the documents stuffed down his pants in order to tell the young bim ... er, lady, quote I would show you what I have in my pants, but then I'd have to kill you unquote
This is Victor Morton, reporting for CJ News.
Ah, Babylon-on-the-Potomac! The capitol of goyim with all sorts of pants problems!