Kerry-Edwards
The comedy of errors today in the reportage of John Kerry veep nomination continues. Originally the New York Post reported that the pick was Rep. Dick Gephardt. Then John Kerry announced that his pick was John Edwards. Contrary to media coverage he did not choose Sen. John Edwards from North Carolina of whom he had once quipped "I don't even know if John Edwards was out of diapers" His nomination was actually celebrity psychic John Edwards of the Sci-Fi channel.
Kerry's team reports that this was done to balance the ticket and provide strength in some areas that critics have said that Mr. Kerry lacks. Yesterday John Kerry told the paper, "I oppose abortion, personally. I don't like abortion. I believe life does begin at conception." With this nomination he can now show that not only does life begin at conception but that he believes that life also continues after death. Mr. Kerry said "This is a win-win situation for me. During war time I can have John Edwards talk to FDR and JFK for me so that I can get some experienced advice. Not only can I have a great kitchen cabinet, I can have Roosevelt's kitchen cabinet if I want to. Hillary Clinton might have been able to talk to Eleanor Roosevelt previously in the White House, but I can get advice from anybody that I want. In fact I can even talk to all those friends of Bill Clinton that showed up dead. At first I had looked at Sen. Edwards since Back in 1985, he stood before a jury and channeled the words of an unborn baby girl. But he seems to have lost his psychic skills or he would never have run against me for President. So I thought 'Hey, why not go with a professional psychic?' I can even apologize to those 1.4 million aborted babies each year and can say I am sorry I couldn't do anything about that. You know I don't want to force my personal moral choices on others. In fact in my twenty years in the Senate I was so worried about forcing my morality in others that I only sponsored eight bills. Five ceremonial, two for the fishing industry, and one for small businesses for women. Only three of those passed so I have been very effective in not forcing my beliefs on others."
Known as 
the Boston-Mayberry ticket....Floyd might make a good secretary of state; barney could handle the A.G.assignment; Aunt Bea at the UN; Goober at Defense (in charge of the new open admissions pollicy); Opie over at Treasury.....sounds good to me.
if i have to look at four years of this gee-gaw, i just might hafta brush up on my tex-mex spainglish and head south for awhile.