Caption Contest?

Two old chickens enter a new relationship?

"Dear, did you have to wear the vinyl bowtie? The glare plays hell with my cataracts."

You need more quotes in the headline. It should read:

"Episcopalian" "bishop" gets "married" in San Francisco "Episcopal" "church."

Today's Headlines in Caption Form:

"Two blind guys who are the victims of a vicious joke!"

"Hit and run drivers, after untimely collision with rose bush, are just glad to be alive."

"All male Shakespeare troup getting last rites before the audience kills them. Unaccountably they are glad to go."

"Two of the ugliest lezzies you've ever seen getting "hitched" in San Francisco."

"Blind Episcopalian minister marries the gardners instead of the bride and groom. The gardners, who don't speak english, are amused by the awful clothing of the minister."

"Wow, what an ugly woman, but the necklace is nice."

Is that what miters look like in the Episcopal church nowadays?

Soviet studio-manipulators retouched the photo to show Leon Trotsky concluding the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution with Harry Truman (in his Masonic robes).

At least this wasn't a picture of when the groom was asked to kiss the bride...

"Did you bring the rings?"

"No, I thought you did."

"Wait a minute, who's the husband again?"

I cant tell which is the bride or groom?

As Bishop, cant The HE/she want-a-be performthe ceramony (or what ever you call it) on themselves?

Bette watch for Bee's

A friend came up with this from his memory of old pop songs:

http://www.lyricsbox.com/cowsills-lyrics-i-fell-in-love-with-the-flower-girl-pnhcpnp.html

I saw her sitting in the rain
raindrops falling on her
she didn't seem to care, she sat there and smiled at me!!

Then I knew
(I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew!)
she would make me happy
(happy, happy, she could make me very happy)
Flowers in her hair, Flowers everywhere

(chorus):
I love the flower girl...
oh I don't know just why she simply caught my eye
I love the flower girl...

she seems so sweet at night
she kept a tune in my mind

(Audio available at Amazon: play album track one.)

MPs compelled the prisoners into humiliating and degrading poses, and saved photos of the scenes.

RC...THAT was classic!

Although not a sacrament, it remains an external expression of an internal reality.

"... and for our honeymoon, I got you a Col. Sanders outfit!"

(I'm supressing lots of horrible elaborations on that theme. Please pray for my sick mind.)

...and as another twist, the two decided to get lei'd BEFORE the ceremony.

Good form, RC! hahaha..

Why can't Episcopalians play chess?

Because they can't tell the difference between a bishop and a queen!

A reading from the Book of Leviticus...

Ah, my little chickadee!

Ah, my little chickadee!

Guess this needs a couple conservative Anglican entries:

"His miter's drying out. Go water the bishop."

"Do you have that stole altered or pruned?"

By the way, the Cowsills lyrics I quoted above are a flawed transcription; look around elsewhere on the net for other possibly more accurate versions.

"Episcopalians: Deepening our understanding of marriage for 470 years."

I can't decide what I like better: The Curt Jester or the comment boxes! You guys are amazing--thanks for starting my day with a laugh!

Do you think this is the upcoming cover of Lei Witness maagazine Episcopalian style?

goodbye to all anglican values

after replacing the "Wedding March" with a rousing rendition of "I'm Henry the VIIIth I am."

The new"couple" walks through the churchs' Labyrinth only to find it ends in HELL

Mona,

"can't tell the differencebetween a bishop and a queen"--that was hilarious. Made my day. Thanks

Mirror Mirror on the wall......
These two look like twins!!

I didn't know you were auditioning for the new Philly Cream Cheese commercial too?

"It's not nice to fool Mother Nature."

-or-

(song:) "It's raining men, hallelujah!"

"Doublemint commercial goes awry in San Francisco"

Finalists in the Julius Caesar look-alike pageant.

I think I see a speck in your eye. No, I see a speck in your eye. Wait, maybe yours looks more like a beam. No, more like a log.

I knew we shouldn't have tried that new Miracle-Gro hair tonic.

Theosis gets my vote for Best Entry, Pun Class for his "Lei Witness" post.

I like RC's atrocity photo post for Best Entry, Caption Class.

Christopher Johnson is my nominee for Best Entry, Quote Class, and for Best in Show . . .

Pete Vere's extra-dry observation,

Although not a sacrament, it remains an external expression of an internal reality.

I gotta a present in my pocket for you.

Did you bring the viagra?

I'm glad you wore purple, everyone would be snickering if you were in white.

(set to a broadway musical tune) If they could just see me now; that old parish of mine...

Straight weddings are sooooo last year.

RC wrote:

(song:) "It's raining men, hallelujah!"

Amen.

I emailed this pic to my wife (she was on a on biz trip) and she sent it to several folks from our church (The ANGLICAN Church of The Good Shepherd - formerly Episcopal).

I can't remember having laughed so hysterically for so long!!!

My submission for the caption is the first thing I thought about when viewing the picture. I came of age in the 60's, so this is my frame of reference.

Just pick your favorite phrase from these song lyrics:

(Be Sure To Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair)
Written by: John Phillips
Artist: Scott McKenzie
From the 45RPM: San Francisco b/w What's the Difference
Originally released: May 1967
Album:The Voice of Scott McKenzie- 1967

Notes: According to Scott McKenzie, John Phillips wrote 'San Francisco' in
twenty minutes. (John was present during the interview when Scott said
this.) He wrote it to promote the upcoming non-profit Monterey Pop Festival.
John Phillips co-produced and played guitar.

If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you’re going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there
For those who come to San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there
In the streets of San Francisco
Gentle people with flowers in their hair
All across the nation,
Such a strange vibration
People in motion
There's a whole generation,
With a new explanation
People in motion, people in motion
For those who come to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you come to San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there
If you come to San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there

(Thank You! Heart of San Francisco)

Two finalist face off for lead in new "Hawaiian Prune Punch" commercial.

hawiaiian punch

I don't see why all the rest of y'all are making fun of this. After all, he's not any less married than he is ordained.

Flora, meet Venus.

OOOOOOOOh, you said my white teeth would look splendid in purple??? I thought you said a white wreath!!

A new bishopric fashion trend perhaps?? San Francisco "bay" leaf stoles??

Nar·cis·sus (när-sss) n. Greek Mythology
A young man who pined away in love for his own image in a pool of water and was transformed into the flower that bears his name.

Really is comical in a way, I have never laughed so hard in my life!!! After and during the "I do's" did he/she (either or, I do not who is who with these two) break down and cry? I bet all the witness' did - this is very hard on the eyes without breaking into tears!!!

Until today, I always said I had never seen an ugly bride.

LOL Fr. Now you've seen either none or two, but I'm not sure.....this is a reallllly confusing but horribly funny picture....LOL.

"How to get a Parental Advisory sticker without swearing..."

Are you a poofter? How wonderful, so am I!

and you people call yourself Christians. For shame, I'll pray for all your souls this evening.

The flowers and garlic we wear still doesn't cover up the smell of the things we do behind closed doors.

'Fear not, till Birnam wood
Do come to Dunsinane

I would say, "Bishop jumps queen," but I think I might have stolen that from Mark Shea, and it looks like another person had the chess theme in mind; "Bishop, boyfriend get lei'd," is probably too risque and trite at the same time; "Are you trying to seduce me, Bishop Robinson?" might work; but I think I'm going to have to go with: "Tragic neglect of divine revelation has hilarious side effects."

Please enjoy these entries:

"Don we now our gay apparel."

DoubleMint ad campaign alienates midwestern market

Just another typical spring wedding. (NYTimes)

...Seconds before the National Cathedral fell into the earth, engulfed in flames!

...Gay couple seen here, minutes before divorce proceedings.

With their eyes on the consulship, their father Julius new he must adopt his nephew Octavius or Rome would fall.

New PBS kids show launched as spin off from Bannanas in Pajamas--specutlaive title: Fruits in bathrobes.

This couple responded negatively to the Gibson's Passion when questioned leaving the theater, saying, "we thought it was a different type of movie."

IT'S THPRING!

You know what, I really don't understand the need to be so cruel and unfeeling as this. To harbor your own feelings against these men is one thing. To speak against what they believe and the life that they are choosing, and to do it in a civil manner is fine. But to mock them is just truly cruel.

Is mockery some big new Christian movement that I somehow missed in the bible?

Zombyboy,

Yes it is in the Bible between the passages when Jesus called people hypocrites and the times he called them Brood of Vipers.

Zombyboy,

These two old geezers presented themselves in public!, dressed as characatures of 1960's hippies, one of whom was dressed in Episcopal vestments, to get married (?) by a member of the CLERGY and you can't see the incredible humor and irony?

The look on the bride's face (or, the groom's...the one on the right) is too incredibly funny for words.

Others have covered the more germane serious points, so I feel that has been adressed.

"If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then you got yourself a duck."

Can you imagine the wedding night: a.) who carried whom across the threshold, b.) was the marriage con....... Oh forget it, the comedy material is endless.

Jeff, Jesus didn't mock peoples' lisps or sexual orientation. He didn't laugh at them for being different. That was condemnation, not mockery and not sarcasm.

And as for the "comedy material", I'm sorry, but I don't see it. I know my wedding wasn't a funny thing to me, and I would be pretty angry if I found a site devoted to making fun of it. Was your wedding a funny thing?

I don't want to imagine the wedding night for the same reason that I don't want to imagine yours--that's utterly personal and private, so let's leave it there.

You know what, I believe that there are intelligent, reasonable people who are opposed to same sex marriage. But then I read these personal attacks and see this base behavior, and I know for a fact which side of this argument I would rather be on.

"But then I read these personal attacks and see this base behavior, and I know for a fact which side of this argument I would rather be on."

Dear me, what terribly tender people you must know. You're confusing dancing-school manners - "If you haven't anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" - with Holy Writ. Grim solemnity has far too strong a hold on public discourse as it is: there's nothing wrong with making jokes as well as arguments. You don't like it, but then, you don't have to. You don't have to like us, either. But you can't expect us to get all tense and unhappy because you don't, you know.

Chill out, Zom: can't you tell that +Otis and Senor Paris have a sense of humor and a sense of human frailty about this? Anybody dressed up like that knows it looks at least a little ridiculous, and when you add in their age and their same-sex-ness, there's plenty of incongruity going around. Try to enjoy the jokes.

Elinor, I simply expect you to act like Christians--you know, with understanding, caring, tenderness, charity, and love.

I don't treat everything with "grim solemnity", but I do take cruelly seriously.

The flowers and garlic we wear still doesn't cover up the smell of the things we do behind closed doors.

Not only tasteless, but not funny.

"Two of the ugliest lezzies you've ever seen getting "hitched" in San Francisco."

Oh, yes, that's intelligent commentary.

MPs compelled the prisoners into humiliating and degrading poses, and saved photos of the scenes.

Even if I agree that the two gentlemen would have a sense of humor on this subject, I have a hard time imagining that they would consider their wedding pictures to be humiliating and degrading.

All I've seen in response to my remarks is to brush them off or to indulge in self-justification for relentlessly callous behavior.

From here it just sounds bigoted and hateful.

I'm sure I've overstayed my welcome, so I'll back off now. But I would urge you to look at those comments again and consider what you would think if they had been made about your best friend's wedding. Or, heaven forbid, your own wedding.

Zombyboy ...

Well, nobody's perfect.

(Elinor might be the only one to truly get that)

To be fair, Zom (that was me above on the unsigned comment: my mistake):

A few of the wisecracks people have offered here have been harsh (which is regrettable), and some of them are lame and unfunny (which is inevitable). But do let the commenters make momentary mistakes in judgment without calling them "cruel", "bigoted", and "hateful".

If you'll read through the wisecracks above, you'll notice that unlike yourself, most of them didn't actually accuse other people of malice. That makes your comments seem harsher and angrier than the rest.

Perspective, kid.

Two old queens
Dressed up like some trees
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First came sodomy
Then a mockery of marriage
And no one'll be pushing a baby carriage

Grandpa?!

"But I would urge you to look at those comments again and consider what you would think if they had been made about your best friend's wedding. Or, heaven forbid, your own wedding."

But thsee comments aren't being made about a REAL wedding. We're mocking mockery. Mocking Satan is a good thing.

Attaboy, Victor!

There was nothing about my own wedding which anyone for whose opinion I care a rap would be inclined to laugh: we got married for the first time, forever, with a determination to bring up new souls for God and help each other to Heaven. Somebody might, I suppose, have been amused by a dumpy bride and a groom with a prominent beak, or by the extreme simplicity of the ceremony, but such criticism would be so shallow as to be unworthy of notice. This precious pair is playing dress-up, each having abandoned marriages of which they tired, thus demonstrating in the clearest way that for them a wedding is a social event and not a ritual marking self-dedication to an irrefragible vow. It would almost be wrong not to laugh at it.

"That was sooooo nice this morning. Thank you."

Pot, meet kettle.

Dear Zombyboy
Just wondering are you gay?

How about: "Sin Made us Stupid"

Okay you get the orange tree but I get the monkey

*Man on Left: "Dear, I've read that your style of goatee was all the rage in pre-Abrahamic Gomorrah..."

*Mommy, why are they looking at each other like that?

*Gay marriage: Making sane people throw up since 2004!

*Instructions: If poison has been ingested, display the above picture to the patient to expel any toxic elements.

*EEEEwwww...

Rice throwing unnecessary.

For those who think this is mocking the two gentle brides, let me remind them: they are mocking the ceremony themselves, as is plainly apparent by their attire.

'you may now give the groom a laurel, and hearty handshake.'

"At the heart of liberty is the right to define ones' own sense of reality." Scotty, beam me out of here.

"At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own sense of reality." Scotty, beam me out of here.

Tee hee. You guys are way good.

Hell personified.

Personally I think you are all a bunch of hypocrites who only prove that 'christians' are hollow entities using a false idea to make themselves feel superior to others.

***not gay and whatever other argument you people use to make yourselves feel better.

unfortunately neck, you should be asking who the hell are they to think that they are both superior to natural law. Moreover, what sets them apart from others that gives them a right to be superior and marry someone from the same sex?

If you allow your soul to take pleasure in base desire, it will make you the laughingstock of your enemies. Sirach 18:31

Mike, them funny hats?

Zombyboy, you think two old guys with flowerpots on their gourds and evil in their souls is any more tasteful than anything I might say about them? HUH?

Hey, BTW, if you want to talk about taste, have a quick look at your handle, eh? Zombyboy?

CAPTION:
"We're changing the name of our 'demonomination' to Esissycopagan"

Have the "Queer Eye" guys seen this picture? Surely they can't approve? It is something of a breach in their main selling point - that gays have more taste than the rest of us. Don't ya think?!

So who won the Caption contest?