Pet Seminary
Fr. Bryce links to a story about an Episcopal church in Stamford, Conn where they have Holy Communion for pets. The story talks about a special benediction for a cat name Purr Box Jr.
Last August they had a similar story about All Saints Episcopal Church in Fort Lauderdale that offered doggie treats for Rover at communion time.
I had commented at the time:
The white dog in the photo might be wearing a bandanna stole and I hope he is not the German Shepherd of this church. I can imagine the doggy sunday school that might occur at this church.
Fido what is the name of the vessel that Noah used for all of the animals.
"bArk"
Good job Fido, now when Jesus told the Centurion that he would come to help his servant, the Centurion answered him, Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my what?
"Woof"
Excellent, I see that you have been reading your "chasing after cats-echism." and that you well know your dog-ma.
One of my readers added.
"What was the sex of the child that Jesus told his disciples was only sleeping and then raised from the dead?"
"Grrrrl."
"Fido, your name means 'faithful.' Will you be faithful to the faith delivered unto you?"
"Yip!"
And another reader commented
"I am the Breed of Life..."
But the ante has been stepped up by this latest incident and I wonder about the ramifications? Are political dogs and cats who endorse spay and neutering excommunicated or denied Holy Communion for pets. Do they receive on the tongue or in the paw? Are they required to bow before receiving or does the minister command "Sit boy." Do they have several different kinds of communion hosts for finicky cats? Do cats attend a special litter-gy? How would you baptize a fish? Would Saint Bernards be confused by an icon of Saint Bernard? Would repentant animals get a new leash on life? Could any animal aspire to the religious life or just chipmonks? Would birds think that only Cardinals sin? During Lent would cats abstain from catnip or is the use of catnip intrinsically evil? How do you know that your pet belongs to the same church that you do?
Known as 
Jeff: There are so many hilarious angles to this crazy story. Your post and the one from before had me crying laughing.
A dog and his owner walks into a bar. The bartender demands payment for the first beer, but the owner says "I haven't got any money, but if you let me drink for free, my dog will talk for you."
The bartender scoffs, saying "no dog can talk," but the owner insists that his can, and says "look, let me give you a demonstration. Gimme a chance."
"Fido ... what's the opposite of 'soft'?"
"Rough"
The bartender is not impressed, but the owners says, "wait, there's more."
"Fido, what do you call the structure on top of a building?"
"Roof"
The bartender says "look, this is ridiculous, I've had enough of this, get your ..." but the owner says "no, no ... one more."
"Fido, who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth"
At that the bartender says "that's it" and picks up the dog and throws him out onto the street. Then he grabs the owner by the neck and pushes him out the door too and throws him onto the pavement. After the bartender has left and the owner is dusting himself off, Fido turns and says "do you think I should have said Barry Bonds?"
That's a rip-off of an old Warner Brothers' cartoon. The dog says to his owner, in a wonderful New Yawk accent and shrugging his shoulders, "I should have said DiMaggio?"
All this reminds me of the man who came to the Catholic priest to tell him that his dog, Spot, has died, and that he would like to have the funeral Mass at the parish church. The pastor becomes indignant, saying, "Why would you come here to do this sacrilegious thing? I've never heard of anything so preposterous."
The dog owner answers, "OK, but I was going to offer a $5000 contribution to the parish."
The pastor quickly replies, "My son, you didn't tell me that Spot was a parishioner."
We had a dog that I assume was Lutheran because he left his 95 feces lying around the house!
It looks like that black dog in the picture has some sort of mind control over that old lady. It gives me the creeps.
Father:
I knew I was ripping that off from somewhere, just didn't know where. My dad told it to me years ago, and with the same punchline you mention. Do you know what cartoon that was (if it was Warners, that sounds more like the style of Tex Avery than anyone else)?
I doubt the joke was original with the cartoon, either.
Disappointingly - I'm being ironic there, BTW - the WSJ has now printed a "correction and amplification" stating that, "St. Francis Episcopal Church in Stamford, Conn., offers a monthly Holy Communion in which parishioners receive Communion and their pets receive a special blessing. The article above didn't mean to suggest that the animals also receive Communion."
While I understand that there is neither Gentile nor Jew, Male nor Female... I don't believe it can be translated as neither Canine nor Feline, neither Schnauzer nor Shitzu!
Kyrie eleison!
Ok , ok so these jokes are fairly funny. Though I still don't understand how the catholic church can just brush aside animals. My dog is nearer and dearer to me than most humans. He is gentle and loving like a child. For anyone to say that he is "obviously just a machine",etc needs to rexamine there position. I myself was extremely agnostic and skeptical of religion for over two years. My Family and my dog were the only ones that provided me any real joy. As he ages, I become more and more aware of the reality and possibility of his death and even my own. He is ultimately what led me back to God. The only being who offers the same unconditional love besides him and my parents is Jesus Christ. I being so loving can not and will not be destroyed.
This reminded me of another story. Three legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west, sidles up to the bar and says "...ah'm a' lookin' for the dirty dawg who shot mah paw!"