Porpoise Driven Life
Is your WWJD bracelet leaving a rash? Does the Prayer to Jabez just not do it for you anymore. Have you been waiting for that next big Christian fad to come along while your are waiting to be raptured? Then this is the book for you. The Porpoise Driven Life uses one of God's amazing mammals to help you get your life going again. You might scoff and think that this is just more shallow theology to market, but no this approach is based on God's Word in the Bible!
"But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or the plants of the earth, and they will teach you; and the fish of the sea will declare to you. --Job 12:7
Yes fish can teach you. It is no coincidence that the early Christians used the sign of the fish. The Ichthus was more than just a word derived from the first letters of a Greek phrase about the Messiah. There was the great miracle of the loaves and fishes and Jesus after the resurrection ate fish. Jesus also called the Disciples to be fishers of men. Again and again fish shows up as an important topic. And what better fish to teach us than a fellow mammal.
This books is subdivided into chapters to help you to develop your own porpoise driven strategy. And includes such wonderful insights as:
Coming up for air:
In the Christian life we can't just go swimming around endlessly in circles in school or out of school. We need time to think about and praise God. Thus we must come up for air. A porpoise who does not come up for air slowly suffocates and sinks to the bottom
Avoiding sin and meditation on the three sided fin.
A porpoise's fin is triangular in shape unlike the more rounded find of a dolphin. Thinking about this fin we can reflect on the Trinity. Often times the fin is above water to show us that we must be in the world but not part of it.
Swimming in groups
Like Dall's Porpoises we should swim in groups and not try to make it on our own. In the Christian life we should help and encourage each other on the way. By ourselves we frequently get lost and eaten by other predators.
These and many other principles can be elicited by studying the life of the porpoise, so that you can have a purposeful life!
One type of porpoise has no dorsal fin, but since this porpoise was born without original fin we can use them as a parallel for Christ.
What are the results?
In churches that have adopted the porpoise driven life have increased their congregations by up to 70%.
So don't delay and buy now!
Known as 
Hi-laire! Best since "Prayboy". That line about congregation size up 70% is wicked, but funny.
Jeff, you come up with the best stuff. I wish I was that witty!!!
Jeff, I think you've got a lot of time on your hands. 8-)
This is funny!
YOur porpoise looks like a whale.
We all need a porpoise in our lives. ;)
(to the tune of "Flipper")
They call him Miller, Miller,
He's the CurtJester.
No one you see,
is wittier than he.
And you know Miller, Miller,
he'll just keep postin',
on targets that need toastin'
from bad theology.
(You da fish!)
ohmy ohmy
Keith,
This is a harbor porpoise, but it does look like a whale in coloring.
I blogged about it back in November : Porpoise Driven Life, or diving through the flaming hoops of PowerPoint Theology.
Though I love what you did with the topic!
Kudoz!
Without original fin????
That's great.
Jeff, Had the very same idea and then found your URL. Needless to say I think what you've done is great! :,)
Interesting.
Sheep are led, not driven. Thus, I think the title of the book should be "Porpoise Pulled Life".
I'm yet another one that thought of this title, then thought I'd Google it to see if anyone else had. Cheers to you for beating me to it!
I can personally testify to this book's impact on my life. The spirit is literally forced to move on anyone who either reads this book or visits Sea World in Orlando FL. Thanks for finally teaching theology that isn't as hard as the bible...
My name is Johnny...I AM a porpoise...Leave my family alone. We're doing fine without your nay-saying and mockery...Boo to your whit and lack of sensitivity...
Ha ha, laugh it up..Look at MY church boyyeeeee!!!
This whole mockery is the very reason that I am so with the Church of Scientology...And the reason I put my complete trust and faith in Guile from Street Fighter...
its shit
Thanks for sharing this. What's sad is, this does more for me spiritually than the real book.
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