Jesterware presents the latest in interactive political gaming, Deanings.

Deanings are darling little creatures who follow Vermont governors over the political abyss. Your goal is to try to stop them from committing political suicide. This is no easy task. Deanings are dense angry militantly anti-war creatures who no matter what comes out of their leaders mouth, gladly follow him over the edge.

Your weapons are the truth and the Governor's record. You must apply these with skill since Deanings are pretty much resistant to this. Another of your foes is the major media bias. When you try to use your weapons the media comes in and neutralizes them with massive spin weapons equivalent to daisy cutters.

In Deanings, score doesn't matter. The counter shows the current money raised, but this is all to no avail if only one state goes Deans way.

Game play is high speed and you must be really quick to stop a Deanings before it flip-flops and changes direction.

Contains geopolitical game play. In the North you can select "Separation of Church and State" mode and in the South "Committed Believer of Jesus" mode.

Occasionally Bin Ladens and Saddam Hussiens will appear on the screen, ignore these. Deanings aren't sure they are guilty and killing them won't improve game safety.

Often times Deanings will roll up their sleeves and start shouting out incoherent ideas. You can safely ignore this during game play. This is their default behavior.

(Screen Shot)

As an added bonus Deanings includes RPG (Role Playing Game) features and you can increase your points with experience. For added realism Foreign Policy points start at zero.

Reviews
This game is just as good as it's predecessors, Mondale and Dukakis. --Political Gaming

This game is really hard, not for the beginner. Keeping Deanings from falling over the cliff takes a master gamer. -- National Gaming Review

One out of Fifty Stars, just like the election. --Conservative Games

The most interesting theory that I heard, which I did not believe, was that the Saudis had tipped Bush off to this game. --Dr. Howard Dean

COLUMBUS, Miss. - The Rev. Sandra DePriest has become the first Mississippi Episcopal to step down to protest the ordination of the church's first openly gay bishop.

DePriest told The Commercial Dispatch newspaper in Columbus that she could no longer actively serve as a priest until the gay bishop issue is resolved.

DePriest finished up with the Church of the Good Shepherd in Columbus and St. Johns Episcopal Church in Aberdeen on Christmas Day.

DePriest told the newspaper she was not resigning her vows for the time being, but could no longer actively serve as a priest until the gay bishop issue was resolved.
[Full Story]

Sandra DePriest? That's pretty funny. Actually I find it pretty ironic for an Episcopalian priestess to be upset about the Bible and tradition being ignored. There were also many Episcopalian and Anglican priests that left after women were ordained in defiance of scripture and tradition.

Cool story about a Harvard Grad and prominent lawyer at the height of her career who enters the Carmelites in her forties. This women who never read spiritual books picked up and read about a Saint totally unknown to her - THe Autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila. Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross) had a parallel conversion from the height of the University to Carmel after reading the same biography.

This is from the minutes of a Pastoral Council Meeting at St. Noel Church in Ohio in a discussion on the GIRM.

Fraction Rite - The GIRM mandates that the priest is the only minister to break the bread and that the priest or deacon pour the wine. The American bishops are asking for an indult with regard to the pouring of the wine, which would allow Eucharistic ministers to pour. It is felt that if the priest were the one to pour, in larger parishes this would slow down the Communion Rite.

The staff recommended that we continue to have a Eucharistic minister pour the wine until we get an answer from Rome on whether the indult will be granted.

This makes no sense to me. If you have a practice that is explicitly against the GIRM do you keep on doing it till a possible indult is given? Maybe it is just me, but I would think that you would immediately stop the practice until such a time as an indult is given, if ever. If the Bishops really are asking for an indult on this I would like to know a sane reason why. We need to get away from the concept that active-participation in the Mass means everybody physically doing something at the altar.

Communion For Ministers - Our present policy of having the presider and ministers receive after the assembly was implemented in 1995 after consultation with the parish and a group of about 50 parishioners over a period of four to five months. The decision was made, as a parish, that the presider and ministers would receive last as a sign of hospitality.

The Rite is very clear that ministers receive from the priest and the priest receives first. Because the Rite is so strong on this issue, the staff recommended that we follow this mandate.

Wasn't that so nice of the staff for them to recommend going along with the GIRM? It always amazes me the argumentation on these issues. Such as worrying about the ministers receiving first will be seen as inhospitable. Did you ever see anybody get up in a huff and leave after witnessing a EEM receive the Eucharist first?

Position of the Assembly During Communion - This was the recommendation that the staff had the most debate and discussion among themselves. There is a clear directive by the Diocese that the assembly should stand until everyone has received Communion, because that was the position in the early Church. The staff felt that there would be elderly and disabled people who would not be able to stand this long, and, therefore, you would have people standing and sitting.

Oh No!!!!!!! You would have people standing and sitting, what a scandal. I will not stand for it.

Since we presently all sit, showing unity, staff recommended that we continue to do so.

Debate and discuss among yourselves all you want, but please follow the plain instructions in the GIRM. They fail to understand that the sign of unity is not just among members of their parish church but among the whole Church universal. They are out of unity with those churches faithfully following the GIRM. Those who are physically unable to stand, kneel, etc are already excused from those actions according to the GIRM.

This just goes to show that for the most part it doesn't matter how many documents the Vatican issues and how clear they are. There will still be many that just pick and choose what to implement based on their tastes. This church's council is probably representative of what goes on in the United States and elsewhere. Well-meaning people who decide what is best for their parish based on their preferences and understanding. The GIRM is meant to be implemented not interpreted. We send our dogs to obedience school. I think it is time that American Catholics also attended.

Summarizing their plans on the vocation practice they planned to have a dialog, panel discussion, focus group, and asking how do vocational statistics make you feel? During focus groups council members would be there in a listening capacity. Typical meeting-speak that says nothing and ends up doing nothing. Those churches who are fully orthodox are not having a vocation problem, and I am sure they did it without focus groups.

Pete Vere has a good article at both Envoy Encore and Catholic Light on Islam in Canada.

GALVESTON -- A Galveston County church is dangling a couple of motorized carrots to increase its congregation.

Abundant Life Christian Center in La Marque will give away a new Chrysler PT Cruiser to a woman and a Harley Davidson Sportster to a man at its New Year's Eve service.

Parishioners and visitors have been eligible to enter for the free drawings each time they attended a service in recent weeks, and members who brought visitors could enter twice.

The church purchased the vehicles. The winners must be at Wednesday's service to drive them away.

"This is an opportunity to give something to someone that will encourage people to come to the house of the Lord," Pastor Walter Hallam told the Galveston County Daily News in Sunday's editions. "We want to do something to have a positive effect on people's lives."
[Full Story]

At first this might seem not to be appropriate. Yet it is Bible based if the car was a Jesus Chrysler. And of course Davidson was Solomon.

A former convent in southern Portugal has been operating as a brothel for the past year, weekly newspaper Tal e Qual reported yesterday. The Catholic church sold the building in Montemor-o-Novo, a town of manor houses and numerous old convents located some 80km, south of Lisbon, in 1834, the town priest told the paper.

Father Manuel Vieira said the current owners of the hilltop convent turned it into a hotel in 2000 but two years later the establishment, located beside a church which still hold regular services, "changed sectors". The priest said the owners of the brothel have never bothered the faithful who flock to the neighbouring church. "Those who do not agree with prostitution just have to avoid the location. After all it is just one of six brothels in this town," he said.
[Full Story]

I guess this is poetic licence. In Shakespeare's famous play, Hamlet tells Ophelia "Get thee to a nunnery." A nunnery at that time referred to a house of prostitution and not a convent.

...At a Sunday school Easter class at Brooksville Christian Church, the Rev. Tony Crane heard of little Michael's inquiry, regarding Jesus being tormented on the streets, carrying his heavy cross: "Where were the state police when all this was going on?"

..."This is a true story," he said. "The little boy is playing the part of the innkeeper, and he's supposed to turn Joseph and Mary away, as there's no 'room at the inn.' But in his little heart, he couldn't bring himself to do it. So, he threw the door to the inn open, and said, 'Why Joseph and Mary! Good to see you! Why don't you come in and have a drink!'"
[Full Story]

Bette Dean just finished making her 400th rosary.

"I've always had a deep devotion for the rosary. It's a beautiful way to meditate on the beauty of our Lord," she said. "There are the joyful and sorrowful events, the glorious ones and the mysteries of light that have to do with the Lord making his presence known, all of those things are just beautiful events to think about. It's a very powerful prayer."

Dean is a member of the Women's Guild at the Nativity Catholic Church in Broomfield.

In February, they made specialized rosaries for U.S. soldiers fighting overseas and sent them to a military priest in Carmel, Ind., who will distribute them.

"It's a privilege to know they are going to be in the hands of someone who needs them and takes comfort in the prayers," Dean said. "Sometimes we think there is only power in doing very great things, but something simple like this has a very profound impact on someone's personal spirituality."
[Full Story]

With Dean's recent admission that he is a committed follower of Jesus Christ, it is interesting to see the fallout. Dean being a big supporter of the Separation of Church and State myth must have updated it. He is now a supporter of the Separation of Church and Northern States, for campaigning in Southern states it will be another story. As a follower Dean is rather interesting. A Congregationalist that does not attend a congregation, at least not frequently. A former Episcopalian who fell out with that church over an intellectual theological question, a proposed bike path.

Perusing over the Dean blogs I did not see any mention of Dean's announcement.

Surprisingly Dean's Christmas message for a committed follower did not mention Jesus; though it did mention the Democratic Messiah Franklin D. Roosevelt.

The Midnight Mass I went to was awe inspiring. The scaffolding is all gone and almost all of the restoration, except the floors, is complete. This was true restoration where not only was the beauty of the church retained, but it was accentuated and made even more beautiful. From the half-hour of caroling before the Mass through the end of Mass, all of the music was well selected and performed. There was nothing discordant between the music and the Mass as the highest prayer on earth. The choir along with the pipe organ and a six piece orchestra performed well together. Our Pastor, as always, delivered an excellent homily and chanted the Mass.

The best present I received this year was the one wrapped in swaddling cloths. It is always the right size, color, and made to fit for all. This was God's eternal gift card that was validated at the Crucifixion. Like regular gift cards this one also has a time limit and can only be redeemed at one place. It is redeemed only through the merits of Christ and our cooperation in using it. It must also be used prior to death. Unlike secular gift cards the balance is always infinite and their is nothing we can do to increase or decrease that balance. But again like a normal gift card we must use it. If we leave it in a corner untouched, even it's infinite value is of no gain towards us.

Another joy during Christmastide is the carols. I like my Christmas music to be for the most part traditional and actually about Christ. I prefer them sung so that I might sing along. Over the past five years I have been downloading carols from free music sites and adding to that music collection from CDs converted to MP3 and WMAs. So now I can listen to hours and hours of carols commercial free and without a blip against my tastes. With a digital music player I also now bring my carol collection with me to hear while driving. Christmas music soon dries off after Christmas and now I can still listen up to the Epiphany.

CRANSTON -- A dozen vibrating rubber duckies, provided by a California sex-toy manufacturer, briefly joined the eclectic holiday display outside City Hall yesterday afternoon.

Within an hour of their arrival, Mayor Stephen P. Laffey's staff plucked the yellow ducks, saying the exhibition was already full.

The toys were placed by Scott Bonelli, who last week added 15 pink flamingos wearing Santa hats to the display, which now includes a Nativity scene, a menorah and several secular items.

Many of the flamingos have since been stolen, and Bonelli keeps replacing them only to find the birds missing again.

The owner of the California company -- which lists Bonelli as a local retailer -- gave him a dozen ducks to set out.

"As far as I'm concerned, they're waterfowl," Bonelli said. "Since I'm missing flamingos, I'm merely replacing them -- like Jesus was missing, now Jesus is back . . . frankly, I'm running out of flamingos."

The baby Jesus figure was stolen from the Nativity scene Thursday night, but was later recovered by police officers who discovered it while responding to a fight on Arcadia Avenue.
[Full Story]

Don't you just love this time of year? The season when we go to court to be able to have Nativity scenes displayed or removed. Where we put up signs and displays and then have them removed. Nobody is left out of this Christmas courtroom cheer, all can participate. When saying Merry Christmas is like throwing a religious hand-grenade on the secular troops. First get rid of Christ, then the Mass, and transform Holy Day to Holiday. Even with all this nonsense, I for one am thankful. After reading stories on a subdued Christmas in Iraq and the underground Catholic Churches in China. I count my blessings that I can go to a MIdnight Mass. That I can celebrate the birth of Christ without looking over my shoulder. May I remember my fellow Christians who are less fortunate.

Kathy Shaidle of Relasped Catholic has a good article in the San Antonio Current on J.R.R. Tolkien.

Parishioners were still dusting snow off their jackets as the crowd of about 1,000 filed into the star-studded sanctuary of Holy Family Roman Catholic Church in northwest suburban Inverness on Tuesday.

For more than 86,000 Filipino Catholics in the Chicago area, the joy of Christmas already had begun.

Simbang Gabi (Sim-BONG-guh-bee), a series of nine festive masses leading up to Christmas Eve, culminated with a final service at Holy Family Parish Tuesday night, with Cardinal Francis George presiding.

Gone were the purple vestments and other hallmarks of the church during the Advent season. Instead, priests and some parishioners wore white. Brightly-colored stars iced with tinsel and twinkling with electricity flanked the altar and choirs caroled "Alleluia."

"You can't escape the exuberance of Christmas," said parishioner Almira Gilles of Palatine. "This is a showcase for our tradition, our culture."

Celebrated in the Philippines at dawn on Christmas Eve, the final mass of Simbang Gabi is often called "Misa de Gallo," or Mass of the Rooster. Families rise for church at 4 a.m., so fishermen and farmers can be blessed and proceed with their daily chores.

Teresita Nuval, who came to the U.S. in 1969, remembers stories of how her mother awoke to the cadence of wooden shoes outdoors. Growing up in urban Manila, Nuval awoke to the sound of cars. Still, the anticipation was the same.

"When you say Simbang Gabi, you know right away you need to prepare yourself spiritually for the coming of Jesus," said Nuval, now director for the office of Asian Catholics for the Chicago Archdiocese. "It really is based on the joyful anticipation. Everything emanates from that."

Symbolizing the Star of Bethlehem is the parol, the Filipino symbol of Christmas, often made from bamboo and colored tissue paper and suspended outside some Filipino homes.

"In the Philippines, when you see a parol that is hung outside a home, that means the family has accepted Jesus," Nuval said. "It is also telling Joseph and Mary `You are most welcome to come in.'"

In Holy Family, stars shone from every corner. George likened it to evangelization.

"We've come on a snowy evening looking for light following a star," George said in his homily. "God uses stars at times ... but most of all God uses others. ... God finds others to show us the way to Jesus."

Chicagoans began celebrating Simbang Gabi in nine parishes in 1986, Nuval said. Since then, the novena has spread to more than 70 parishes in the city and suburbs.
[Full Story]

Fr. Rob Johansen gives us some carols in Latin including "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

In the Envoy Encore blog today Carl Olson mentioned a church called "Scum of the Earth." The Scum of the Earth church has a web site. Their mission statement appears to be standard Protestant fare and the sermon they have posted is both orthodox and funny.

I don't know what would be worse; to be accepted or rejected by scum of the earth. To be excommunicated by scum of the earth would not be exactly something you would want to put on your resume.

Update: [Via Relasped Catholic]

"Scum of the Earth (that's the actual name of the church) founded by the Christian band Five Iron Frenzy says, 'They want to sing, they don't want to be sung to. They don't want to go to church to listen to a sermon, watch a drama skit and go home without talking to anyone. They want to offer a spare bedroom to a stranger who got kicked out of the house. Most of all, they come to Scum of the Earth Church to connect with kindred souls.'

The Gonzaga School of Law, a Jesuit college in Washington state, refuses to recognize a student pro-life group that requires its leaders be Christians, saying the religious restriction is discriminatory.

"Why not allow a Jewish, Muslim or nonreligious student to be head of the caucus, when they could be equally concerned about pro-life issues as a Christian student?" Gonzaga spokesman Dale Goodwin said in a telephone interview yesterday.

The law school administration's decision not to recognize Gonzaga Pro-Life Caucus, which prevents the group from meeting on campus and applying for funding, was prompted by the Student Bar Association (SBA). It called the group biased.

"The university supports the SBA in this case because any form of discrimination seems unwarranted," Mr. Goodwin said.
[Full Story]

By the facts presented I think I would side with them on this. I can't think of any good reason to restrict an anti-abortion groups membership to just Christians. This is a battle where our allies range from those of different religious faiths to others of good will. To have an open membership but to restrict the leadership gives no advantage to the groups mission, but is a hindrance instead.

Was written by Irving Berlin who reportedly hated Christmas.

Pro-life activists outraged by Planned Parenthood's promotion of its "Choice on Earth" greeting cards are planning protests at several of the organization's facilities across the nation Sunday.

According to a statement from the Christian Communication Network, large picket signs will be displayed with the phrases: "Planned Herod-hood," "The perfect gift: an aborted baby," "Merry Christmas – abort your baby," "Planned Parenthood kills children," and "Planned Parenthood: Satan's little helpers." Planned Parenthood is the largest abortion provider in the U.S.
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In Australia

A prominent Anglican clergyman known for his hardline stance on gay clergy and the ordination of women has been ordained into the Catholic priesthood.

Bill Edebohls, the former Anglican Dean of Ballarat, who is married with children, was ordained a Catholic priest in Melbourne's St Patrick's Cathedral last month.

The Pope allows married priests who convert to Catholicism an exemption from the vow of celibacy.

A spokesman for the St Peter's Catholic Church in the Melbourne suburb of Keilor East today said Father Edebohls was busy preparing for a Christmas mass at the church.

Rector of the Anglican All Saints Church in Brisbane and a friend of Father Edebohls, David Chislett, told ABC Radio there were a number of "Anglo-Catholics" unhappy with the direction of the Anglican Church.
[Full Story]

In Chicago

Saying they can no longer remain silent, a group of Chicago area Catholic pastors denounced what they say is "vile and toxic" language from the Vatican aimed at gays and lesbians.

The group of nearly two dozen priests from parishes in Chicago and the suburbs sent a scathing "open letter" to church officials Friday. In it, the pastors blasted recent church pronouncements regarding gays as "divisive and exclusionary" and "increasingly violent and abusive."

"As priests and pastors we are speaking out to make clear that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters are all members of God's family, brothers and sisters in the Lord Jesus and deserving of the same dignity and respect owed any human being," the letter stated.

The Cardinal Responded:

"Our language is exact, but it does not help us in welcoming men and women of homosexual orientation," he wrote. "It can seem lacking in respect. This is a pastoral problem and a source of anxiety for me as it is for you. It would be good to discuss together."

But George went on to say that pastors must "mediate the tension between welcoming people and calling them to change."
[Full Story][Via Domenico Bettinelli]

I am certainly glad that I am not a bishop, because I would be meditating on the tension between tossing these priests out on the street and stringing them up. I can put up with some priests questioning the discipline of celibacy, but to outright attack something that will never be open to discussion is plain disobedience. I remember reading LETTER TO THE BISHOPS OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ON THE PASTORAL CARE OF HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS and it was in no way toxic, vile, violent, or abusive. In fact the letter does mention violence once.

It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or in action. Such treatment deserves condemnation from the Church's pastors wherever it occurs. It reveals a kind of disregard for others which endangers the most fundamental principles of a healthy society. The intrinsic dignity of each person must always be respected in word, in action and in law.

To call homosexual activity "intrinsically disordered" is only to affirm that sin is always disordered. Will these priests also advocate for adultery and remind us that they are also part of God's family? The Catechism is pretty violent on adultery also. Our stance on the indissolubility of a validly contracted marriage is also not very welcoming towards those who have divorced and remarried and it can be pretty divisive and exclusionary to those who don't except the words of Christ through his Church..

2380 Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations - even transient ones - they commit adultery. Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire. The sixth commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely. The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery; they see it as an image of the sin of idolatry.

Sin does not take away our dignity, but it can take us away from living with God in eternal beatitude. To say otherwise is spiritual malpractice.

CHILDREN as young as 11 years old are being asked to design a poster to promote condoms.

High schools across Greater Manchester are being lined up by condom manufacturer Durex in a contest to promote National Condom Week, with �1,000 of computer equipment for the school, college or youth group that comes up with the best poster.

Durex say the idea is to promote good sexual health and safer sex. But headteachers at the city's Roman Catholic high schools are all set to boycott the competition.

Brian McNulty, headteacher at St Matthew's RC High School in Moston and spokesman for heads of catholic schools in the city, claims the competition is a veiled ploy to sell condoms to young people.

He fears it could encourage promiscuity - and Catholic schools in the city will not take part. "They can talk about it as if it is a social service," he said, "but I think they are actually involved in advertising.
[Full Story]

Downing pints of beer and telling blue jokes at funeral services will no longer be tolerated by Roman Catholic priests in Ireland.

In a move aimed at halting the growing trend towards "a la carte" funerals, mourners have been warned against placing photographs and football shirts on coffins.

The worst examples of inappropriate behaviour during services that have been cited by priests included the drinking of cans of beer in memory of the deceased during one eulogy, and a display of women's underwear on a coffin on another occasion.

One eulogy was even delivered in the style of a best man's speech, complete with risque jokes.

But now the National Centre for Liturgy, which looks after church rituals, has announced moves to curb such irreligious behaviour.

Its spokesman, Father Patrick Jones, said the guidelines were intended to promote best practice rather than tell relatives how to grieve.
[Full Story]

First John F-word Kerry dropped the F-Bomb in reference to the President and now General "Sierra Hotel India Tango" Clark said he would kick the S*** out of anyone who would challenge his military record. You might wonder why these rapidly falling candidates have now resorted to four letter words in recent days? It would not seem to help their potential presidential stature. The Curt Jester has learned that they have actually been auditioning for Comedy Centrals potty-mouth cartoon Southpark. The Curt Jester in a world-wide exclusive presents an actual panel from a proposed Southpark storyboard.

In 1992, Dede Laugesen was immersed in the Boulder drug culture and dancing at the Bustop strip club to pay her way through school at CU's journalism school.

Wayne Laugesen was a hard-drinking editor at a Washington D.C. magazine, one of his first jobs in a career that would lead him to the Boulder Planet, and the Boulder Weekly, two notoriously left-wing papers in an equally liberal town.

Fast forward to 2003, a decade after the two found each other and rediscovered their faith in the Catholic Church, and their lives, and careers, couldn't be more different.

They're raising four sons. And they've set aside the grind of daily journalism to craft computer animated videos teaching young children the value of prayer.

"I can't emphasize how much prayer pulled her out of that situation she was in, and pulled me out of a decadent lifestyle as well," says Wayne, 39, who was an editor and columnist for the Boulder Weekly for three years, before resigning in February.

On Aug. 15, the Laugesens' new company, The Rosary Project, began shipping "Holy Baby — Seven Prayers in Seven Languages," the first installment in a series of educational videos for Catholic babies and toddlers. The couple likens them to the "Baby Einstein" educational videos, or the faith-based "Veggie Tales," cartoons that have sold more than 20 million videos since they were conceived in 1993.
[Full Story]

Come let us adore him before he melts. Fully God, Fully Man, Part vegetable with a carrot nose.

GREEN BAY, Wis. -- A Catholic nun is the latest inductee to the Packers Fan Hall of Fame.

Sister Isaac Jogues Rousseau teaches at Mount Mary College in Milwaukee. She was named Friday as the sixth person to be inducted into the Green Bay Packers Fan Hall of Fame.

Rousseau is a member of the School Sisters of Notre Dame and was nominated by a friend.

Sylvia Linton describes Rousseau as someone who's "soft-spoken, but can on occasion be persuaded to sing with gusto 'Go You Packers, Go and get 'em!'"

Rousseau has been a Packer backer since birth. She was born in Green Bay in 1921 -- the same year the city obtained a franchise in the new National Pro Football League. Her dad took her to games.
[Full Story]

A Green Bay Packers Rosary, I wonder how it is prayed? Throw a Hail Mary, Full of grace. Meditate on the Immaculate Reception..

(Roto Reuters) Recent images shown on Arab TV have outraged Vatican official Cardinal Morono. "When I saw these pictures I felt pity on this cow, looking at his teeth as if he were a dictator. They could have spared us these pictures. Has this cow gassed thousands? Even if bovine flatulence does lead to global warming, what could this one cow do?"

MOUNT PLEASANT, Mich. - An attempt at political correctness at Central Michigan University backfired when some officials attempted to ban Santa Claus from the campus.

The issue began when the school's affirmative action office posted a "Christmas Warning" on its online calendar seeking to ward off religious displays of holiday cheer. The advisory, titled "How to celebrate Christmas without offense," said it "is inappropriate to decorate things with Santa Claus or reindeer or other 'Christmas' decorations."

"Good ideas for decorations during this time are snowflakes, snowpeople, poinsettias to give a feeling of winter," the notice said. Other cultural or religious holidays in December such as Hanukkah or Kwanzaa did not have similar warnings attached, The Saginaw News reported in a recent story.

When it comes to the offense police such as these, the terms "Snow-flake" and "Snowpeople" are synonymous.

The announcement raised the ire of the New York City-based Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, which sent a statement to the university calling the advisory censorship.

The university took down the warning after receiving the group’s statement.
[Full Story]

Victoria, British Columbia—(RNS) The winter solstice, which marks the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, is a sacred day to Heather Botting, a pagan chaplain at the University of Victoria.

It is Yule: the festival to celebrate light, the sun and God. On the winter solstice, which occurs Dec. 22 this year, Botting will lead dozens of students and staff through a series of joyous Yule rituals involving cauldrons, knives, wine, dance, cakes, holly, ivy and stag antlers.

...Botting is a pagan (also known as Wiccan) priestess in what might also be one of the planet's most witch-friendly cities, Greater Victoria (population 280,000), where more than 1,000 people officially told Canadian census takers they were pagans.

Paganism is Canada's fastest-growing religion, according to Statistics Canada. The number of self-declared pagans in 2001 grew by 281 percent from a decade earlier. There are now 21,080 pagans in Canada, with 6,100 in the province of British Columbia, of which Victoria is the capital. There are more pagans on the West Coast of Canada than there are, for instance, Salvation Army members.
[Full Story]

I saw this very funny post last night. Now the SecretAgentMan has incorporated the pictures directly into the post for a better effect.

(Roto Reuters) A rash of recent thefts of baby Jesus' and other Christmas items has lead investigators to discover a previously unknown group. These nativity thefts had at first seemed unrelated and attributed to anti-religion zealots or bored teenagers. Locally a suspicious sheriff had radio tagged baby Jesus' with a special transmitter across the county and when they turned up missing he found that all of them had been relocated and stockpiled in the same warehouse.

After a search warrant was obtained they found in the warehouse hundreds of crèche christs, Christmas tree, and other ornaments carefully labeled with the address of where they were taken from. The owners of the warehouse turned out to be a group called MARCH (Militant Adventists Restore Christmas Holiday). Search of the premises found signs such as "Santa sucks, St. Nicholas Rules", "Christmas starts on the 25th", and "Hey, Hey, Ho Ho Ho, Advent is for penance you fool."

A lawyer speaking for the leader of MARCH, Mr. Pen Attent, released this statement. "Our purpose was not theft and we fully intended to return all items after midnight on the 25th of December. We were sick and tired of Nativity cribs containing the infant Jesus up to a month before he was born. Since otherwise well meaning people had not done this on their own, we just wanted to help them out. We wanted to stop the crèche creep where every year the celebration of Christmas is started earlier and earlier. While starting shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving might be a penitential activity at many malls, we wanted to restore the fuller meaning of Advent to awaiting the birth of the Messiah."

Alec Baldwin writes to Pope over animal cruelty

And the Lord sent Nathan to Alec Baldwin, and said to him, "There was a man in the city with much fame and wealth. He looked onto the world to do good with his advocacy. Insects he saw squashed under peoples feet and abused and killed by swatters and chemicals. He felt compassion for these insects and worked to defend them. He wrote letters, did benefits, and did what he could on his part for the insects. At the same time he slaughtered animals to have for his meals. Any meat was fair game. He defended others rights to eat meat and totally supported the butchers right to choose. Thousands of animals were being killed each day and he didn't blink an eye." Then Alec's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, "As the LORD lives, the man who has done this deserves to die; that this hypocrite would have no pity for the innocent" Nathan said to Alec "You are the man. Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, "I anointed you king over Hollywood, and I delivered you out of the hand of critics. Yet the animals that I created to clothe and feed you, you felt compassion for. But my children in the womb you support to be mercilessly slaughtered. You have written letters to the Vatican to stop cruelty and support the women's right to abortion in all circumstances."

Warning: Self-indulgent poetry ahead.

In sin wandering in the pasteur forever just to roam
I couldn't possibly be lost since I had no true home
A sheep on it's own that didn't believe in a shepherd
The thought of a creator in this rational age, absurd
I saw the world as both beautiful and wondrous
Saw it's cause as mind-numbing randomness and chaos
This I knew to be a strangely curious disconnect
But that there could be a God I did totally reject
Self-sufficient I was and yet knowing I was not
Read more books on atheism and against you I fought
I denied you, ignored you, and renounced you again
Then a dark blurry shape appeared on my horizon
An eternal loving creator, what if it was true
No it just couldn't be, back to my books I flew
You still came anyway, picked me up and lifted me
Onto your shoulders, a new view with faith to see
I was lost deep in my philosophy and totally astray
You left the other ninety-nine to show me the way
It is true I refused to see and was totally blind
Help me to love you with all my heart, soul, and mind

State Assemblyman Rafael Fraguela of Union City, who became a Republican earlier this year after a falling out with the Hudson County Democratic Organization, was kicked out of the Republican caucus Monday, following his vote for a controversial stem cell research bill that passed the lower house by a razor-thin margin.

"In light of Assemblyman Fraguela's disturbing vote supporting the harvesting of human embryonic cells, I cannot in good conscience recognize him as a member of the Assembly Republican caucus," said Alex DeCroce, R-Morris Plains, the Assembly minority leader.

Fraguela was the only Assembly Republican to vote for the bill.

The bill, which passed with 41 votes in the 80-member Assembly - Fraguela joined 39 Democrats and Matt Ahern, a Green Party member from Bergen County, in passing the bill - made New Jersey the second state to officially encourage medical research using embryonic stem cells.

Fraguela, a native of Cuba who said he had been a registered Democrat since he first became a United States citizen 26 years ago, defended his vote, saying his position reflects his own views and those of his constituents.

"I discussed this with my conscience and at the end of the day this was the best decision," Fraguela said yesterday during a telephone interview.
[Full Story]

I discussed this with my conscience?

Fraguela: Excuse me conscience, are you busy?

Conscience: Who is speaking to me? Oh it's been so long Rafael, yeah I got a few minutes.

Fraguela: Well I wanted to ask you about embryonic stem cell research?

Conscience: You mean the deliberate destruction of human life to experiment on and possibly help to extend someone else's life.

Fraguela: Well no, I meant embryonic stem cell research.

Conscience: Do whatever you want, I am going back to sleep.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Women may soon have an easier way to help prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex now that government advisers have recommended that morning-after birth control should be sold without a doctor's prescription.

"It's extraordinarily safe," said Dr. Alastair Wood of Vanderbilt University, an adviser to the Food and Drug Administration.

In fact, he said, women probably should keep emergency contraception in their medicine cabinet just in case it's ever needed. "We don't tell people to buy a fire extinguisher after the fire started."
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We also don't tell people to start a fire in the first place unless they truly wanted to start a fire. The child that can die as the result of this "emergency contraception" when it acts as a chemical abortion will not be able to talk about the extraordinarily safeness of this pill. More progress by the culture of death to turn every home medicine cabinet into a do-it-yourself abortuary.

Beautiful story of a family who helped to hide eight Jews during WWII and their subsequent reunion.

Mr. Priest: Honey, I'm home.

Mrs. Priest: So how was your day at the office?

Mr. Priest: Busy as usual and I spent about five hours hearing confessions.

Mrs. Priest: Really, tell my some of the juicy bits.

Mr. Priest: We have gone over this before. You know I can't reveal what I heard in confession.

Mrs. Priest: I don't like you keeping secrets from me. It's not good for a healthy relationship. You know you can trust me to not tell anybody else.

Mr. Priest: Revealing what goes on in confession leads to an automatic excommunication. St. John Nepomucen was killed because he would not reveal the queens confession.

Mrs. Priest: Well if you don't tell me anything, then your next. Well, never-mind. Don't forget that little Jimmy has his soccer game at ten tomorrow.

Mr. Priest: Ten? You know I will be saying Mass then.

Mrs. Priest: Your work is always interfering with our family. You spend way too much time there and you are so full of excuses You need to reevaluate your priorities and put our family first.

Mr. Priest: Being a priest is not just a nine to five job. After the Vatican approved optional celibacy and we got married, I told you that it would be a rough life and full of sacrifice. Remember that the Bible says You are a priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek.

Mrs. Priest: Well I am sure that Mrs. Melchizedek had a couple things to say to her husband also. Going around and offering heads of tribes a sacrifice of bread and wine instead of taking the garbage out. Which reminds me, you need to take the garbage out.

Mr. Priest: I will as soon as I am done praying evening prayer.

Mrs. Priest: It is always something. Prayer, rosaries, retreats, picketing abortion clinics, marrying people, baptism, et cetera, et cetera. Maybe one day you will be holy enough that you can levitate the garbage outside. You would think that you are married to the Church or something.

Mr. Priest: As a priest I am responsible for the souls in my parish. It is a heavy responsibility and it is difficult to balance the parish life and the family life.

Mrs. Priest: Another thing comes to mind. Could you get people to stop calling you Father? Little Susy keeps wondering just how many brothers and sisters she has in this city.

Mr. Priest: I am a spiritual father just as St. Paul called some of his converts children.

Mrs. Priest: Your no St. Paul and just look at all the hours you spend at work and look at your pitiful salary. Do you think that we can afford college and a mortgage? Monthly bills like Life and Martyrs Insurance have to be paid. Tomorrow I want you to march right down and tell your boss that you need a raise.

Mr. Priest: But honey, I just can't walk up to the Bishop and demand a raise. It just isn't done.

Mrs. Priest: I should have been suspicious when I found out that Bishop meant overseer. Those bad aliens in Alien Nation were also called overseers. With their fancy robes, colored socks, and mitre they forget about their workers. What is ever more unfair is that they won't advance married priests to the episcopacy. Just because the Orthodox have maintained a similar tradition since the beginning is no reason for us to copy it. It is just not fair that there is a stained glass ceiling for married priests. I could picture myself as Mrs. Pope. Though we would need to update the Pope Mobile so that it could fit our family. A papal SUV or family van would be more fitting.

Phone Rings...

Mr. Priest: That was the parish secretary. I need to go to St. Luke's Hospital to hear a dying man's confession.

Mrs. Priest: I know, anything to get out of taking out the garbage.

"I don't talk, I just listen...I don't cry, but please hold me...I don't walk, so please carry me...I love you, please love me...My name is Jesus".

"Star" painted in the pupil of the eyes & a non-toxic "Halo" that GLOWS IN THE DARK

www.babyjesusdoll.com

Well a non-toxic halo is always a good product feature.

In honor of the hole that Saddam has grown attached to in the last couple of months. CJ records presents Saddam Hussein's Greatest Covers Songs.

Led Zeppelin - Hole Lotta Love
The Beatles - Fixing a Hole
Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
Jerry Lee Lewis - Hole Lotta Shakin' Going On
Alice in Chains - Down in a Hole
Extreme - Hole Hearted
Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy for my Hole
Blackhawk - Hole in my heart
Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive
Gap Band - You Dropped A Bomb On Me
Queen - Another one bites the dust
Village People - Not so Macho Man

Here is a something I did before on Saddam and Gamera

This is from an article talking about the new hi-tech attraction in England's Bristol.

'I know how to put a condom on!" cried my 11-year-old son with glee. We were investigating Explore, the science part of a £97 million family attraction in Bristol that goes by the oh-so-now name of @Bristol. Inevitably, Louis had been drawn immediately to the bit about our bits - which seems to be a family trait.

Touring the Doge's Palace in Venice at the age of nine, his sister Lilia had gone straight for the chastity belts. Now 14, she was busy exploring the exhibition's Walk-in Womb. Imagine a cosy, swinging padded cell in pink with flashing red rope lights and pumping sounds. "Very Sixties," she pronounced as we progressed to a film depicting a Virtual Sperm Journey. As 200 million tadpole-thingies battled to get through a tangled forest of mucus in the cervix, it looked almost as difficult as trying to find a place for your child at a beacon secondary school.

Upfront sex education (in case you are worried, condom application is explained using a banana) is but a fraction of the offerings of @Bristol, which include a walk-through mini-rainforest, an IMAX cinema, a planetarium, a virtual volleyball court and a child-usable television studio. Being veterans of this sort of thing, the Tisdall team agreed unanimously that @Bristol is one of the best yet.
[Full Story]

The scariest part of this article is the how no part of this seems to give the father qualms. His only caveat was that just in case you were worried, that only a banana was used to demonstrate condom application.

Teresa Gomez, 19, left, and Rafael Martinez, 18, join native dancers performing at Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church in Fort Worth on Friday as part of a Mass celebrating the patron saint of Mexico.

Now here comes in the whole collapse and huge blunder of our age. We have mixed up two different things, two opposite things. Progress should mean that that we are always changing the world to suit the vision. Progress does mean (just now) that we are always changing the vision. It should mean that we are slow but sure in bringing justice and mercy among men: it does mean that we are very swift in doubting the desirability of justice and mercy: a wild page from any Prussian sophist makes men doubt it. Progress should mean that we are always walking towards the New Jerusalem. It does not mean the the New Jerusalem is always walking away from us. We are not altering the real to suit the ideal. We are altering the ideal: it is easier.

G.K. Chesterton - Orthodoxy

Dale Price and the Secret Agent Man both deliver some mighty fiskings today.

TS O'Rama of Video meliora, proboque; Deteriora sequor has a good post called The Sacramental System as Espoused by Frosty the Snowman.

He also said:

Next week - Frosty's eschatology. Pre Trib, Pre Mil, Dispensationalist? Stayed tuned

I can hardly wait. These are important questions. Looking at the Book of Revelations the son of man is usually thought to be Jesus. But I draw your attention to Rev 1:14.

His head and his hair were white as white wool, white as snow; his eyes were like a flame of fire.

And from the Lyrics of Frosty the Snowman

and two eyes made of coal

Look at the parallels between Frosty and Jesus. Hair white as snow, could it be because it was snow? And could the eyes like flames of fire actually be coal that has been lit off? The average snowman is made up of three balls of snow stacked onto each other. This is an obvious reference to the Holy Trinity.

The end of the lyrics say:

For Frosty, the Snowman, had to hurry on his way, But he waved goodbye, saying' "Don't cry, I'll be back again some day

Jesus also said "be of good cheer" and "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come."

Frosty and Jesus both told us not to worry and that they will be back again some day. What if Matthew 23:9 actually said "And call snow man your father on earth," and from the Book of Acts "Greater love has snow man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." There is much to think about here and I thank Mr. O'Rama for bringing this much needed topic to light.

I would also call your attention to TS O'Rama's weekly blog soup of notable posts, which is always interesting.

During this time of year we get basically two types of holiday movies or specials. The first type is where once again someone helps Santa to save Christmas. I don't know why kid's would admire a Santa that seems to every year mess things up and require somebody else to come in and save Christmas. The other type is where the final message is that family is important and we should be nice to one another. I also see many articles where they talk about the true spirit of Christmas where somebody helps out the poor or does another act of kindness. The Christmas holiday also abhors a vacuum and when it is drained of Christ other things seek to fill it.

While remembering that family is important and that we should give of ourselves are goods in and of themselves they are not the true spirit of Christmas, but should be the out pourings of that true spirit. Others will remind us to remember the reason for the season and that Jesus was born onto us the Messiah. This gets closer to the truth of Christmas, yet isn't quite there. To understand that God became man and was born in Bethlehem we must understand the why of it.

Jesus did not become man to take a vacation from eternity. He was not out to see the sights of Jerusalem and to chill out with us humans for a while. We aren't exactly known for our hospitality in treating God-men tourists; crucify him! No the reason for the season is sin. The incarnation was the first step in rectifying the sin of our first parents. Through pride Adam and Eve wanted to determine for themselves what was good and what was evil and to become like god. Through humility Jesus took the form of a slave and became man. Adam and Eve tried to make themselves big and self-sufficient, while Christ the second person of the Holy Trinity became small and totally dependent on a mother's care. For centuries Christ prepared us for his coming through the prophets, yet the inns in Bethlehem never seemed to receive his pre-announced reservations and sent them to an alternative dwelling. We would cave in to sin and Jesus came to us in a cave. The Israelites had mistaken the reason for the Messiah and had turned it into a secular event and a kingdom on earth. Our Christmas holiday is no different, again the coming of the Messiah is mistaken for a secular event. As if Christ was born so that we could measure consumer confidence.

The loss of the true spirit of Christmas is because of the loss of the true meaning of sin. It is easier to transform Christmas into something materialistic, then to transform ourselves into something more spiritual. Once we again take sin more seriously, we can then take Christmas more seriously. We would find it odd to go to someone's birthday party and that all the gifts exchanged are between the guests and no present is given to the one who's birthday it was. Yet that is exactly what we have done to Christ. Of course Jesus is hard to shop for. What do you give to the God-man who created everything?

God has given us his Christmas list:

The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise

and you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another

At Easter we sing the Exultet and there is a parallel for Christmas "O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam, that unto us a child was born!"

OAKLAND -- A divine blend is brewing in East Oakland.

The aroma of gourmet coffee comes from an unlikely locale, near Havenscourt and Bancroft avenues. The newly opened coffee shop has all the usual java offerings plus a little more -- piped-in gospel music and a shot of community self-help.

"Starbucks is not going to come to the 'hood," said the Rev. Kevin Barnes, pastor at West Oakland's Abyssinian Missionary Baptist Church. "People want this type of coffee around here and they are not going to get it on the way to work at a gas station or a fast food place."

The combination of espresso and religion can be found at Heavenly Grounds, which opened this week in a storefront formerly occupied by a barbershop.
[Full Story]

What would be cool would be a Catholic Coffee house where you could sit down and have a nice cup a Joseph. After all cappuccino was named after the Capuchin Franciscans. What could be better than confession and cappuccino. In confession our dark black sins get turned white as snow. In cappuccino a dark black coffee gets turned white as snow. Even more appropriate the average Catholic doesn't know beans about the faith so we could start Coffee Cathechetics modeled after the program "theology on tap."

And of course the sign on the wall would say "Brew unto others as you would want others to brew unto you."

Wellington - Two New Zealand church leaders have attacked a Christmas safe sex advertising campaign that depicts a trio of jeans-wearing men with packets of condoms in their back pockets and which dubs them as the "Three Wise Men".

The nationwide campaign by the Family Planning Association (FPA) and condom maker Ansell is featured on billboards and the back of buses throughout the country.
[Full Story]

It is fun to create something that has amused other people and I was pretty happy with the notice given by the trifecta of Catholic blogging Kathy Shaidle, Amy Welborn, and Mark Shea. It is quite another surprise to receive the massive avalanche of hits from The Corner via Jonah Goldberg. So while my head is still below the mass of planetary systems I would also like to give thanks to those bloggers above and also to others that have linked to my avazon.com parody. Kat Lively, Dale Price, Gregory Popcak, John Betts, The Meandering Mind of a Seminarian, Fr. Bryce Sibley, David Ancell, Peppermint Patty, TS O'Rama, Jeanetta, Victor Lams, Confessions of a Recovering Choir Director and anybody else that I might have missed.

Special thanks to Michelle of And Then? whose satire suggestion this time and in the past have born fruit.

Here is something I wrote on a previous occasion which seems appropriate now

The Litany of Blog Humility

From the desire of my blog being read
Deliver me dear Jesus
From the desire of my blog being praised
Deliver me dear Jesus
From the fear of my blog being despised
Deliver me dear Jesus
From the fear of my blog being forgotten
Deliver me dear Jesus
From the fear of no page views
Deliver me dear Jesus
That other blogs may be loved more than mine
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That Nihil Obstat may find all my grammatical and spelling errors
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That Google may never list my blog
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That comments always be negative and abusive
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That my commenting system always say "commenting temporarily unavailable"
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That Mark Shea may notice every blog but mine
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be pithier than I, provided that I may become as pithy as I should
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it

The Loma Prieta earthquake badly damaged St. Francis de Sales Cathedral, but not the resolve of East Bay Catholics to rebuild the church one day.

After years of searching, the Diocese of Oakland has identified a downtown Oakland site to build the new Christ the Light Cathedral. The 110,000-square-foot property is near Grand Avenue and Harrison Street, next to Lake Merritt.

The diocese wants to open the cathedral center in 2007.

The $131 million project is expected to become a destination for visitors and for 1.5 million Bay Area Catholics. Approximately half a million Catholics live in Alameda and Contra Costa counties, and the diocese expects 20 percent growth in the next 15 years. Masses are held in 17 languages.
[Full Story]

Previously the architect Craig Hartman describes his design as "quite modern" and "unlike anything you've seen."

This is not exactly a statement that encourages me. On the official site for The Cathedral of Christ the Lightt. Craig Hartman states:

“The tradition of the Catholic Church has historically been to apply the most advanced architectural thinking to create works of architecture that illuminate, inspire and ennoble the human spirit.”

That sure is the reason I go to church, to get my human spirit ennobled. Our daily life and the world just isn't centered around us enough so we need some quiet time to sit and reflect on human spirit. And if there is any time left over I might also think about God.

In keeping with the themes expressed at Vatican II, Craig Hartman’s floor plan positions the main altar near the center of the cathedral’s interior, so that those attending Masses and liturgies can better become a community of participants.

Just when I managed to duck and avoid a Vatican II spirit coming my way, I get blindsided by a Vatican II theme. Well at least with this design they can rent out the Cathedral for boxing tournaments. Additionally this might actually be a good idea. Those who want to have the priest facing them can sit on that side, traditionalists that desire Ad Orientum can sit on the other side.

I realize I am ranting on this design sight unseen, but since the actual design isn't included on the site's 12 pages or any place I could find; that also doesn't exactly inspire confidence. I hope to be wrong and that the eventual Cathedral helps the average person to worship the architect of creation, and not just a design that helps you to admire the architect of a church.

Carl Malburg is an ordinary- looking person -- white male, age 62, 5 feet 8 inches tall, 170 pounds, glasses, black wing-tips.

But in an airport, people stare at him.

Ticket agents don't immediately understand him. It takes them a moment to realize that the narrow, waist-high carrying case Malburg totes is not luggage, but rather a passenger -- it has a seat. Malburg has bought a ticket for it -- an $1,800 ticket, in this case, Chicago to Bombay, round-trip.

What exactly is this inanimate travel companion? the Air India representatives wanted to know the other day at O'Hare International Airport. Malburg's fellow passengers wanted to know, too. He was holding up the line, drawing stares.

Malburg, smiling all the while (he has been through this before, many times), unzipped the carrying case to reveal a carved wooden statue of a woman, unmistakably the Virgin Mary, her face serene, her hands folded in prayer.

The ticket agents smile. "They're probably Hindu, but they're courteous," Malburg observed, and off he headed to his departure gate, towing the Virgin on a handcart through O'Hare Airport.

For Malburg, who lives in Munster, in northwest Indiana, it's just another day at the office. This is what he does for a living. The statue, known officially as the International Pilgrim Statue of Our Lady of Fatima, is the property of a small Catholic foundation, the Lay Apostolate Foundation, whose mission is to get it before as many people as possible. Mostly it's displayed in Catholic churches.

Malburg is an employee of the foundation. He is the statue's "custodian," its escort, its constant companion. He is on the road roughly 300 days a year. He makes $36,000.

Malburg does have a sense of humor -- he sometimes calls himself a "roamin' Catholic." But so seriously does he take his job, in such high esteem does he hold the statue, that he does not touch it without first donning white gloves. Wherever he sets up, he puts a sign next to the statue that says (in whichever language is appropriate): "Don't touch her, she will touch you."
[Full Story]

I guess Gore can now deliver Tennessee to Dean, oh wait Tennessee went for Bush. Maybe Dean can now go after some other major endorsements like Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis.

Is the whole Lord of the Rings thing hobbit forming?

Would black hobbits have an afrodo?

Did some LOTR characters believe they were living in the Ent Times?

If Peter Jackson wins an Oscar for best director, will he thank all the little people?

If Middle Earth came into the advertising age would we see commercials like:
Dude, your getting a Riven-Dell!
Ork, the other white meat.

If these puns have annoyed you then in Rastafarian fashion I am truly sorry-mon.

This was all spurred in anticipation of Return of the King and I see that my favorite reviewer Steven D. Greydanus of decentfilms.com says that it is the best of the three movies.

Looking at this Gingerbread Nativity I can imagine Homer Simpson saying "Umm Gingerbread Nativity!" I can just see Jesus saying "This is my gingerbread which is given up to you." Here are the Instructions for making your own gingerbread nativity.

Late last month Michelle of And Then posted this.

As much as I like Scaryduck, I can't imagine being so enamored of a blogger that I'd buy t-shirts, baseball caps, and mugs emblazoned with his blogging persona and questionable witticisms.

Additionally she said "I also sense satire possibilities for the Curt Jester"

Not being one to leave a comedic gauntlet thrown down without picking it up, I have given this some thought. I have also noticed some of St. Blog's bloggers with their own merchandise via Cafepress.com. Now I kind of like the idea of having a Relasped Catholic t-shirt or a Disputations Coffee Cup. The only problem is that they are limited to normal secular items. I have also noticed some gift lists posted or linked via amazon.com for some of St. Blog's bloggers.

So I have created a web site for merchandise particular to St. Blogs personalities, sacramentals of the Catholic faith, and other desired religious items. So without further adieu:

The bureaucrats charged with turning Russia into a godless utopia had a December dilemma and a big part of their problem was St. Nicholas.

The early Communists needed to purge Christmas of its Savior, sacraments and beloved symbols, including this patron saint of widows and children. What they needed was a faith-free icon for a safe, secular New Year's season. Digging into pre-Christian Slavic legends they found their superman — Father Frost.

"It's so ironic," said the Rev. James Parker III of Louisville, Ky. In order to wrest control of Christmas, "one of the things the Communists had to do was to get people to forget the real St. Nicholas. ... Here in America we've forgotten all about the real St. Nicholas because he has turned into this Santa Claus guy. It's like we're taking a different route to the same place."

It would not be unusual to hear Eastern Orthodox, Catholic or Anglican clergy voice these sentiments in the days leading to Dec. 6, the feast day of St. Nicholas, the fourth-century bishop of Myra in Asia Minor. Parker, however, is associate dean at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Still, he is convinced it's time for more churches — even Southern Baptist churches — to embrace the real St. Nicholas.

...Little solid historical information is known about Nicholas, except that he was born into a wealthy family and, after the early death of his pious parents, he entered a monastery and became a bishop. Some early writers claim he participated in the Council of Nicea and, when theological debate failed, that he punched a heretic who argued that Jesus was not fully divine.

"The mental image of Santa Claus punching out Arius ... has to fundamentally change the way one would ever see Santa Claus again," said Parker. "While I might not agree with his methods, I certainly admire his passion for Christological orthodoxy."
[Full Story]

I don't think that Banned Parenthood's Choice on Earth cards really get their message across. So I offer to them free of charge my limited artistic abilities to design a true anti-Christmas card to promote their actual message of choice.

Bishop Raymond Burke wrote to two state legislators and a member of Congress earlier this year to take them to task for supporting legislation that he characterized as "anti-life." The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel used the state's open records law to obtain a copy of the letter he sent to Sen. Julie Lassa, D-Stevens Point. Burke refused to say who the other recipients of his letters were.

..."You have failed to restrict the evil of abortion when the opportunity presented itself," Burke wrote to Lassa. Fair enough. Bishops and other religious leaders are entitled to express their opinions.

But then in an interview, Burke said that if lawmakers continue to vote against the Roman Catholic Church's position on life issues, "I would simply have to ask them not to present themselves to receive the sacraments because they would not be Catholics in good standing."

This is not as formal a thing as excommunication, where the church says it will no longer give someone communion. But it is close. It is using a religious hammer to try to affect a lawmaker's vote. That ought to be out of bounds in both religion and politics.

It ought to be out of bounds in religion because believers ultimately have to square their actions with the God in whom they believe, not with an individual religious leader. It ought to be out of bounds in politics because elected officials represent more than just the people who share their religious persuasion.
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We are hearing more and more about the argument of pluralism. That pluralism justify the ends. I would like to know how you represent pluralism? You only have one vote at a time on a bill. You do not have a pluralistic vote where you cast many votes for and against a bill.

If a politician identifies themselves to belonging to some specific religious group then those who voted for them should not be surprised if their votes are consistent with the moral teachings of that group. Unfortunately we normally are now surprised when their votes are actually consistent with the faith they profess.

Excommunication and denial of access to Communion are not spiritual hammers used to bang someone into agreement, but are in fact an act of mercy. If someone holds something gravely contrary to the faith and then receives communion they are eating and drinking judgment onto themselves. To let a person know of this danger is a great act of mercy. To allow them to continue to receive Communion unworthily is unmerciful. In the history of the Church many who have been excommunicated or had other restrictions placed on them, repented of those acts. Love of neighbor requires us to rebuke them when the situation is appropriate. They is hardly anything more appropriate then rebuking those voting with the culture of death.

I say hats off to Bishop Raymond Burke and his efforts. He is one of the Bishops that is ensuring that at judgment he won't have his hat size taken for the fitting of a mill stone.

Busloads of school children who paid for a field trip celebrating the Christmas holidays learned a Grinchly lesson.

Thousands of youngsters had paid between $10 and $20 apiece to attend a show called "Christmas From Around the World." But when their school buses arrived Wednesday morning, the kids found a shuttered playhouse and a missing promoter - along with their money.

"The Grinch raised his ugly head today," said Mary Ross Agosta, spokeswoman for the Archdiocese of Miami, which sent students from seven Roman Catholic schools to the show.
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Maybe this is really just an artistic representation of how secular Christmas is around the world. An empty stage reflects the attempts by the "being offended" police to remove all Christians symbols. Taking the money and running also artistically reflects the materialism of the Christmas shopping season. Instead of fraud he could call it performance art.

Microsoft has just now started there own free blogging service called "the spoke", reportedly it wll have some more advanced features then blogger.com.

Chris Burgwald of Veritas wrote a letter to state representative Marlin Schneider (D-Stevens Point), a Lutheran, in response to a newspaper story about Bishops pressuring Catholic Politicians. His letter is well written and Mr. Scheider's response can be briefly summarized as "No King but Caesar." Read them for yourself.

The billboard shows the Madonna cradling a chicken in her arms and below reads a caption, "Go Vegetarian-It's an Immaculate Conception."

PETA intentionally chose Providence to launch its message because the state is home to the highest number of Roman Catholics.

The group hopes people will steer away from food that is killed.
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I like the inadvertent slip of "steer" away. PETA continues it's campaign of using Christian imagery to try to make their case, but if they are going to work so hard to try to offend Catholics then at least they should get their dogmas straight. They have confused the Immaculate Conception with the Birth of Jesus which is a common Immaculate Miss-Conception. On December 8th we celebrate the Immaculate Conception of Mary. You would think that people would not get this confused since there is such a short period of time between December 8th and the Birth of Jesus on December 25. Either they believe that Mary was pregnant for only a little over two weeks or that she carried Jesus for over a year.

The silliness of the whole "Jesus is a vegetarian" thing really only backfires against PETA. They are not going to convince people to be vegetarians by lying to them. If Jesus was such a promoter of vegetarianism then he certainly gave off some mixed messages and metaphors. The whole killing of the Lamb for the Passover and Jesus being the sacrificial Lamb of God seems to give a different message. But maybe God really did want to use vegetables instead in sacrifice but gave up after some initial confusion. What if God had told Moses to tell the Israelites to sacrifice a vegetable such as the lentil plant. "You must sacrifice a lentil and then place the fluid on the door and lintel." "What? How can I put the lentil on the lentil?" "No I said to put the lentil on the lintel, oh nevermind - sacrifice a lamb instead."

I am personally glad that God did choose a lamb as the sacrificial image. It would be just strange to hear the "Potato of God, you take away the sins of the world". Then again, what if instead of saying "I AM" he really said "I YAM."

It would also sound weird if Isaac had said "Behold, the fire and the wood; but where is the Asparagus for a burnt offering?" and Abraham tells his son "God will provide the Asparagus" and then before Abraham attempts to sacrifice his son an Angel calls his attention to an Asparagus conveniently caught in a thicket behind him.

The Wisconsin bishop who will become the archbishop of St. Louis next month is a staunch conservative who is expected to carry out most of the initiatives Cardinal Justin F. Rigali introduced during the past nine years.

Archbishop-elect Raymond L. Burke, 55, has been the bishop of La Crosse, Wis., for the last nine years. The Vatican announced Tuesday that Burke will succeed Rigali, who moved to Philadelphia in October as its archbishop and a cardinal.

On Jan. 26, the former Vatican church lawyer will be installed as the St. Louis archdiocese's ninth bishop and eighth archbishop at the St. Louis Cathedral Basilica.

St. Louisans will get a hardworking bishop who follows the finest points on all Vatican directions precisely, from major policies to revisions for bows and nods at Mass.
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I love the words used to describe orthodox Bishops as either a staunch conservative or a Vatican hard-liner. We never seem to get to be introduced to a Vatican soft-liner. But we do need those described as staunch. We need to staunch the loss of vocations and the loss of respect for the Eucharist.

Have you ever noticed how exclusive the Bible is in reference to footwear. There are plenty of mentions of sandals such as the ones John the Baptist felt not worthy to carry or ones you knock the dust off when leaving a town that would not hear the Gospel. There are just no mentions of moccasins, boots, slippers, tennis shoes, high-heeled, or dress shoes. This constant harping about sandals is disturbing to those whose footwear attractions lead to other types. We need inclusive footwear language so that nobody is left out.

Should evangelizing be selective and only for those with sandals? Can't we knock the dust off our boots or running gear? This is an issue of fairness in relation to footwear and the tolerance of other styles. There is neither Jew nor Greek, neither sandal or dress shoe wearers, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Just because 2000 years ago the Jewish culture had taboos about other forms of footwear can we not break through this cultural footwear stereotype?

But to be even more inclusive then we should also include those who eschew shoes and want to walk around with naked feet. After all our first parents Adam and Eve walked around with naked feet. Even after the fall they wore palm leaves and then the furs that God made them, yet their is no mention of them wearing either palm sandals or any other leather footwear. Now some people have hang-ups about seeing people with naked feet and the case made be put forth that out of charity we should cover them. We can not control who might have some kind of foot fetish, or is that feetish? This is just too small of a minority to restrict our freedom in Christ. Those who have a good foot image should be allowed to walk along as they desire.

We should not have to toe the line and be forced to listen to readings that reflect cultural footwear bias and we need to make Biblical footwear conform to present times. We need to change passages such as from John the Baptist to something more like "the thong or other device of whose sandal, boot, or any other type shoes I am not worthy to untie or remove in the case of lace-less shoes."

The test of happiness is gratitude; and I felt grateful, though I hardly knew to whom. Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa Claus when he put in my stockings the gift of two miraculous legs? We thank people for birthday presents of cigars and slippers. Can I thank no one for the birthday present of birth?
G.K. Chesterton - Orthodoxy

Mark Shea talking about the Christian parody magazine The Door.

This reminds me of a Door article on genetic engineering that came out years ago which proposed mixing the genetic material of various people and getting offspring like "Martin Luther Vandross" (a German monk whose sexy soul stylings prompt nuns to renounce their vows) and "Karl Barth Simpson" (a precocious young theologian whose seminal essay on how the New Covenant eliminates the need for Levitical animal sacrifice is entitled "Don't Half a Cow, Man!"
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Cool concept, here are some additions of my own:

• John Calvin Klien, a theologian who teaches double-predestination in the latest fashions.
• Albert the Great Collins, A church father who lays down the blues groove with his theological Telecaster.
• John Paul McCartney, the Pope that responds to the American church by saying "Let it Be" and tells the Orthodox church to "Come Together" and prays to the apostle "Hey Jude Thaddeus"
• Jack Benny Hinn, a comedic/televangelist where first you get slain in the spirit and then he slays you with his violin playing.
• Elton John of the Cross a nearsighted theologian, singer and poet who is detached enough to say goodbye to the yellow brick road
• Jan Micheal Vincent de Paul acting theologian who preaches on charity and B-movies
• St. Bonoventure, U2 can be a Franciscan Theologian
• Bon Scott Hahn, AC/DC Singer and Theologian who teaches you how to avoid the Highway to Hell

Students in Judy Hunt's advanced Latin class at New Haven High School have their reasons for learning a "dead" language: higher test scores, a stronger grasp of English and better preparation for college science and medicine courses.

There's also the toga parties and pig sacrifices.

Today, Hunt will stage a "pig sacrifice" when she cuts into a cake that has the image of a pig on the frosting. The ceremony is part of an ancient Roman celebration, Saturnalia, named for the god Saturn. To thank him for a good harvest, Hunt said the Romans had a pig sacrifice.

"Sometimes you need to do weird things to get their interest to create learning," said Hunt, who has taught Latin at New Haven for six years.
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TORONTO (CAP) -- Curiously, Michael Caine had no memory of the work he did on Norman Jamison's The Statement, until he saw the finished product on the screen.

The film, based on Brian Moore's 1995 book about a Nazi war criminal protected by a secret right-wing element within the Roman Catholic Church, goes into theatrical release later this month.

Caine plays Pierre Brassed who, when he was a young officer in the Vichy Malice in 1944, helped round up France's Jewish citizens. In 1992, when the film opens, his church support is rapidly disappearing and Brassed now 70 is running from unidentified assassins as well as a new military-judicial inquiry.
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The membership of the Catholic Church is suppose to be about one billion people. I wonder if that number is large enough to be able to hold all the secret right wing groups shown in the movies and books. You would think you would be tripping over secret right wing members all over the place. What really annoys me is that I still haven't received any membership offers from any of the thousands of secret right wing Catholic groups. I especially want a right wing Catholic decoder ring. It is probably really cool with Latin words and Greek symbols on it and can be used to decode the hidden messages in Cardinal Ratzinger's writings.

I guess we should be happy about the back-handed compliment paid to Catholics by always selecting them. There just aren't any books or movies about secret right wing Methodists or secret right wing Mennonites.

Yes it is that time of year again to celebrate the seasons and remember the words in the bible like:

You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltness be restored?

During this time we greet those unsung heroes that spice up our food daily and for our taste-buds to praise them.

Remember the reason for the season - to make food taste better!

The three wise men we sing about while celebrating the seasons knew the importance of seasons and brought some famous infant both frankincense and myrrh.

So as your walking along and someone calls to you "Seasons Greetings", with glee in your heart and a smile on your lips reply back "And a howdy-do to your salt and pepper also!"

I bow down before your holy temple, filled with awe.

The Church in her wisdom has given us the liturgical season to focus are attention on the mysteries. As humans due to original sin and the break of the integrity of our will, great mysteries can become dry to us. We can begin to read the prologue of the Gospel of John "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth; we have beheld his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father." and say them with the same enthusiasm as "Have you seen the remote control?" We are unable to maintain the same sense of awe and amazement as when we first started to believe that God became man and our prayer life gets slack. I believe that at first the Israelites were amazed and deeply grateful for the pillar of fire sent to them at night to guide their way. But I also believe that after a couple of days they were complaining "Hey when is God going to turn that pillar of fire off? I can't get any sleep with it on." It also wasn't long after God gave them the manna that they started complaining that they wanted some meat.

The season of Advent is given us to prepare for the coming of Christ and one of the greatest mysteries - the Incarnation. St. Teresa of Avila encouraged reflecting on the incarnation as one of the surest guides to contemplative prayer. We can all be like Simeon at this time of year. Knowing ahead of time of the coming of the Messiah and knowing that we will not die without seeing him. We can wait in joyful silence and expectation for the birth of Christ. Like Simeon's prophecy to Mary we also know that even with Jesus' arrival that there are still swords that will pierce through our own souls, yet the wonder of the incarnation and Jesus' redemptive death heals all wounds when we call to him.

In my own life I try to take the lesson of the Origens and Tertullians to not presume on my faith and understanding. These were men of great intellectual understanding and at first were true to the Catholic faith, but later on went on to teach heresy. We need to always measure our understanding against the teaching of the Church and when found wanting to correct our course. Our conversion must be daily and we must stridently work to maintaining the awe at the statement "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.