April 21, 2008

Prayer Attention Deficit Disorder

You know you are trying to be more serious about your faith and the the first step is prayer, yet every time you try to pray you easily get distracted. You can't even go from the Hail to the Mary without thinking about something not exactly pious. It seems to you that every time you sit down to try to pray fervently you spend more time distracted then actually talking with God.

You have heard about the four types of prayer: Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, and Supplication and wonder if it is just you that has the fifth type - Distracted Prayer? You will be glad to hear that it is just not you that suffers with distracted prayer. In fact reports show that 10 out of 10 people who pray end up being distracted.

Distraction is prayer is known in the spiritual director field as Prayer Attention Deficit Disorder (PADD) or Supplication Attention Deficit (SAD) and is a birth defect caused by original sin. Since Adam and Eve only Jesus and Mary have not had to deal with Prayer Attention Deficit Disorder.

But you ask "Now that I know what the problem is how do I deal with it?"

That is where St. Johnson and St. Johnson's steps in with the latest pharmaceutical wonder. Our patented ingredients help to put your daily life behind you and to help you to concentrate while praying.

You can find information on our new product Ridalin on television or the sample ad below in your favorite magazine.

Ridalin should be taken with plenty of repentance and can be used when operating heavy machinery, though we recommend using it with the Rosary or other devotions instead. Ridalin can be mixed with sacraments and this is the recommended practice. Ridalin is not recommended for those not serious about living the Christian life and can cause severe reactions when combined with hypocrisy.

Posted by Jeff Miller at April 21, 2008 12:40 AM | TrackBack
Comments

The Curt Jester does it again!!

Posted by Eamonn email at April 21, 2008 4:17 AM

HA! Sign me up for one of those once a month renewal prescriptions...I'll need the extra strength, extended release, please. Great job!

Fr. Philip, OP

Posted by PNP, OP email at April 21, 2008 5:44 AM

Ha! I love it! Good thing our Lord gave us the Our Father. He knew we needed some type of railing to keep ourselves on track!

Can I order a box? :-D

Posted by Mary Rose email at April 21, 2008 7:27 AM

To the Matketing dept:
Consider a name change or sister product named Ridasin......

Posted by Lyall Scott email at April 21, 2008 8:56 AM

Can I post the pic on my blog with a link back to you? I love it!

Posted by Milehimama email at April 21, 2008 8:56 AM

Classic! Another example of "why didn't I think of that?"

Keep up the great work!

Posted by LarryD email at April 21, 2008 10:14 AM

Should be great for PADD and SAD, thanks. Might be just as effective at curing Fasting Attention Disorders (FAD) at the same time. With a large dose, I wonder if one could last 40 days.

Posted by WillyJ email at April 21, 2008 11:19 AM

Fabulous!
(Another morning in which my keyboard comes close to destruction - I've got to learn not to drink while reading your blog...)

Posted by Ellyn email at April 21, 2008 12:17 PM

If you strung fifty-some of those pills onto a string, I mgiht be able to make it through the Rosary without any trouble....

Posted by Ed Pie email at April 21, 2008 12:27 PM

Would this be a Tier I or Tier II prescription on my HMO?

Posted by Margaret email at April 21, 2008 1:07 PM

...an increase of ejaculations...

God that's funny!

Posted by WhollyRoamin'Catholic email at April 21, 2008 2:12 PM

I need that! I can count on one hand the number of times I have been able to make it through a prayer with out getting distracted.

Posted by Reader K. email at April 21, 2008 3:30 PM

Not sure about this post!

Posted by jackie parkes email at April 21, 2008 3:30 PM

You have outdone yourself this time, Jeff!

Posted by Lynn email at April 22, 2008 1:57 PM

hahaha, hillarious :)

Posted by Joe of St. Thérèse email at April 22, 2008 3:29 PM
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