May 12, 2004

Bottled Water for Sunday only Christians

With the advent of bottled water many vendors have made available spring water from many counties to suit the consumer. While there are literally hundreds of different bottled water source, they all have the same draw back. The bottled water assumes the same temperature of its surrounding. That is until now.

Introducing a new product of water available from the Lycus River valley a few miles north of modern Denizli, Turkey. This water comes straight from the world famous Baspinar Spring.

This water is especially suitable to those once a week Christians who go to Church but also manage a wall a separation from Christianity and their actions. For those who are neither fervent or approaching agnosticism finally there is the water just for you.

Introducing Laodicea (pronounced lah-od-ik'-i-ah) brand bottled water.

Not really refreshing or quenching, yet still it might be the water for you. A special container always keeps your water the same tepid temperature whether the area outside is hot or cold.

If your favorite Gospel is the Gospel of Luke-Warm then this is the drink for you.

For the budget conscience there is also the Laodicea tap warmer. Regardless of the temperature in your water pipes or the conditions outside. Water always comes out in the same fashion. Not piping hot or chilled but just that right temperature right in between, just like your faith.


Surgeon General Warning: While this water will not make you sick it can cause an allergic reaction in Jesus causing vomiting. "So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth."

Posted by Jeff Miller at May 12, 2004 12:41 PM | TrackBack
Comments

This is the perfect water for those who cannot sit through a 45 minute Mass without a water bottle to slug from.

Posted by Christine R. email at May 12, 2004 2:46 PM

excellent, mr. miller.

Posted by smockmomma email at May 12, 2004 4:15 PM

Christine,

"This is the perfect water for those who cannot sit through a 45 minute Mass without a water bottle to slug from."

Is this common now? I saw this for the first time in my parish last week and I thought it was truly strange.

Well done Mr. Miller!

Posted by Liz email at May 12, 2004 6:39 PM

speaking of lukewarm:

exlaodicea.blogspot.com

(give us a week)

Posted by berenike email at May 15, 2004 5:41 AM
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