Hi I am Father/Mother Feelgood of the Our Lady of the Perpetually Okay Church parish and I would like to invite you to our exciting and relevant faith community. We are a Roman Catholic parish, but don't worry about that old fuddy-duddy in Rome; he doesn't run this parish. We are welcoming community to those who have been hurt or forced to abide by rules in other churches. The Catechism here is our consciences and that is what we follow. Now unlike Protestant churches who don't follow Rome we kind of like some of the exterior practices of the Roman Catholic church, though our understanding of these practices and sacraments is slightly different.

Our church does not have a separation between the sanctuary and the congregation. Our church is one large sanctuary so everybody can gather around each other and affirm each other in our collective okayness.

A sacraments is an exterior sign of no interior action.

The entry sacrament into our church is the Sacrament of Tolerance. Just come into the worship space and let us know of your desire to enter into our faith community. You begin by stating "I'm Okay!", the congregation then says "We tolerate you." That's all there is to it. No need of interior conversion, repentance, or any other judgmental Medieval practice. Just remember "For God so tolerated the world, that he gave his only Son."

As we stay the same in our faith, there comes a time when we just need to strengthen that we are okay, this is the Sacrament called Confirmation of Affirmation. One of our members will take our holy oils (such as Wesson or Pam) and then draw or spray an "O" on your forehead as a sign that your okay. If anybody disagrees that you are okay they will receive a light slap on their face.

With aroma therapy comes the Sacrament of Holy Odors . This is an inclusive sacrament that can be given to anybody male or female. We gather around the Holy Diffuser and inhale in the wonderous odors. There are three levels of Holy Odors: Eucalyptus, Frankincense, and Jasmine.

One of the most important sacraments is the Sacrament of Holy Partnership . This is where we join you and your partner together for life. Just remember our concept of "for life" is the same as the criminal justice system. For life doesn't actually mean until one of you die. We bless your life-long committed relationship until such a time as you become uncommitted. We do not discriminate against gender affiliation and one or more people can receive this meaningful blessing.

The Sacrament of Holy Community . As a faith community we gather together around the sanctuary and one of our members confects the elements and transubstantiation occurs. This is where wine and bread are sacramentally changed to water and crackers. This is a great mystery and the source and summit of our faith. This is also know by the name Youchrist, because You are Christ, as we all are Christ.

We remove past wrongs with the Sacrament of Reconciliation . This is where a representative of the Church apologizes to you for past wrongs such as the psychological terror of calling things in conformance with your conscience "sins." You enter the reconciliation conference room and a minister of reconciliation says "Bless you brother/sister for the Church has done wrong." You then assign us penance and go on your way.

The Sacrament of Last Rights . As our members are dying we administer this awe inspiring sacrament for your journey to Heaven. We gather around your bed and no matter what you have done in life we say "You were Right." If ones dies without this sacrament it really doesn't matter since we are all going to heaven anyway. But it is nice to be affirmed that you were Right.

Wednesday Night Bible Study - After our first meeting last week and looking at some of the theological trends of the bible we believe that it not relevant any more. The idea of original sin and a need for someone to make restitution for it is passé and doesn't match the strict requirements of our intellectual faith. Thus we have dropped the whole thing. You may still study the bible for private edification. If you do we recommend the following. If your interpretation of a passage causes you to need to change something in your life, then your interpretation is in error. Re-read until it conforms to your world-view and you will be just fine.

Warning about the "The Da Vince Code" - this is a preposterous and unhistorical novel. It is ridiculous story. After all we all know that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were fictional people who the early church invented as a projection of the God and Sinner paradigm popular at that time. We are much smarter now.