The Vatican meets Madison Avenue

Some people might bemoan the fact the the new L.A. Cathedral is selling crypts from $50,000 to $3 million for a private chapel, but this is a great idea. Just think of all the great revenue enhancing ideas that we could come up with. Just imagine how much advertising space is available in a worship space. If we followed these new revenue generating models the Church could actually have all the money that its critics accuse it of. The Vatican ran a deficit last year and new innovative ideas could stop the trend. Now in the past we ran into problems when selling indulgences and the Episcopal office so we need to look elsewhere. Historically we have buried saints below the altar and how much money did we receive from them? Now anyone with enough money can buy their way into the Cathedral, maybe for a real big donation we could have them proclaimed as a $aint.

1. One billion Catholics and there are no banner ads at the official Vatican website, ridiculous.
2. If the Superbowl can charge a million dollars for a 30 second commercial, we should be able to get 10 million for placing the Pepsi or Coke logo on the Pope's mitre.
3. The Popemobile has plenty of room for advertisements.
4. We could start Mass with "This Mass has been made possible by a grant from Exxon."
5. After the Gospel "This Gospel was brought to you by the King of Kings and also the king of beers.
6. Advertising in missalettes, seasonal sales can be precisely placed according to the liturgical season.
7. Liturgical vestments could be designed to carry ads like NASCAR drivers.
8. Owners have made tons of money by renaming a sports stadium after the sponsor. In the future we could have the Budweiser Cathedral or Our Lady of Domino's Pizza.
9. Rent out confessionals as office space, after all they are only used once a week for about 30 minutes.

I am sure there are plenty of possibilities.
Posted by Jeff Miller at September 5, 2002 6:08 PM | TrackBack